THE BIG 5-0...my before and after weight loss pictures!

I will preface this post by saying that this is honestly one of hardest things I have ever done--

There have been some real struggles over letting myself post these pictures--it is like opening the most vulnerable part of me and sharing it with so many people--many that I don't know

 (even though I would love to!)...

It was really hard to look at the BEFORE pictures again. It was hard to stare at that person...the person who stayed unhappy and overweight for so long. I am embarrassed and ashamed at how I was...mostly because I see how I feel now, and REGRET the years and years that I didn't take charge of my life and my health....and my body. And let's face it...I looked pretty bad. It's the honest truth.

{deep breath}

I am posting pictures never seen before by anyone else...pictures I locked deep down inside my computer or cropped to only show my face...and it's taking a whole lot of courage to do so...

So I ask one thing...please, please be gentle with me. :)

That being said, here's my weight loss journey...

I really did not have much of a selection when it comes to pictures of myself...but this is the closest I could get to pre-pregnancy pictures in a full body shot (I was a few weeks pregnant at this point). Take note of the skirt...you'll see it again later!

I went through my pregnancy only gaining 14 pounds (THANKFULLY!!) I obviously didn't diet--but I DID watch my snack consumption and such. Either way I was still so big and felt SO ugly. I didn't want to document that for good...so I debated for a couple weeks whether or not I should take any maternity pictures, since I have never had any taken for any of my pregnancies. In the end, I decided to give it a go and have them done--I do mean the END, because I had Carter the following morning. :) The truth is, I WAS HUGE. (it is still really shocking to look back at these!)

So Carter was born in July...and I got the green light for actively losing weight. I was ready! I quickly got back to my pre-pregnancy weight--and had lost a few pounds below that when Brandon's family was in town in the beginning of August--1 month after I gave birth. These pictures are taken the night we went to see Phantom of the Opera..

At 12 pounds down, I decided I really needed to take a "before" picture. This shirt was TIGHT. Really tight. But it needed to be taken...

20 pounds down I rewarded myself with a new shirt...

And in between there and here...there wasn't much to show for...I  honestly chickened out every time I thought I should take a picture or post something....

BUT...

Remember that skirt in the beginning???

As my 50 pound mark neared, I knew I would need to face the camera and get a picture. My friend Amber took some of me (THANK YOU AMBER!) so that there would be something to up!

I still want to lose another 5-10 pounds. But it isn't a set goal--I just want to see where my body goes as I continue to make good eating choices and training for my 5k next month. I am well within my appropriate BMI at this point, which is something I am really proud of! But I want to work on toning up, becoming stronger, running longer...and feeling comfortable in my own skin.

I will continue to weigh in each week, but probably won't post another weight loss total until my 5k...while I loved journaling each week on my weight loss journey, I have come to a point where it no longer is to me what it was in the beginning--and quite frankly, I feel like I am just rambling each week now! :)

I know this is the beginning of the new year--the perfect time for a new year's resolution--a time for change. I often think back to the post I wrote a while back about making today your someday...you can read the whole thing here. But here is an excerpt I want to share:

.

"Over the past few weeks, several people have made comments to me about how they wish they could have the motivation to be healthy, or eat better, or lose weight, etc. Or it has been mentioned that SOMEDAY they will...

It's made me think. A lot.

I used to be one of those people. The person who was waiting for some magical day, before my life could change for the better. I was waiting for a better schedule, or money for the gym, or some other excuse--anything to put it off because much of me didn't think I could make such a big change. Losing the weight I have lost so far didn't just start up on an appointed day written on a calendar. It is something that started a long time ago--and has progressed, one choice at a time.

 I am amazed at how MUCH I have found I can actually DO when I just switch one thing at a time. 

I want to stop living with a list full of somedays...because I have realized that TODAY is the best day to be your someday. Today is the day to make a small change...to switch things up...to push yourself...to explore something new.

For all of you who were waiting for SOMEDAY to take a step to health, I challenge you to make that change today...maybe you start by just cutting back on sweets...or maybe it's taking a brisk 10 minute walk, or not going back for seconds when you're really not hungry anyway. Or maybe it's buying a loaf of whole wheat bread when you usually buy white, or trying out a new fruit or vegetable--or even just adding in an extra serving of them in your daily eating. 

You've got a day in front of you. You've got choices to make. And it will never get EASIER to be healthier...make today your SOMEDAY start your own little journey to feeling better about YOU."

My own little journey and 50 POUNDS Lighter...I've never felt so good. The weight loss I honestly never thought I could accomplish has happened. And it was so much easier than I ever anticipated it being. The changes I was so scared of, really have changed my life for the better--and I am so, so grateful for that.

Here's to 50 pounds..