Eeeeee-leven

My Sweet Kaden...

Today you turned 11. One year closer to the big new adventures that await you. In many ways I love that you are still fairly small--it allows me to live in denial that you are growing up on me!

This past year has kind of been a tough one for you. There has been a whole lot of change--and even more trying to figure out how to cope with it. You have faced many challenges and my heart has just broke for you. But I have really loved seeing you find ways to be better and come out from the storm stronger.

At 11....you LOVE all things mythological. I have a hard time with this because what I know about Greek Mythology I could count on one hand. But you read as many mythology books as you can get your hands on and have been known to wear towels as togas. You also have a love of words--for months you've hauled big hard bound books around and frequently can be found reading the dictionary.  At eleven you also really love Legos--and BATMAN. You love Batman so much that you wear your Batman jacket in 105 degree weather, even though a sweater is not even remotely needed. But you insist...it's cool. :)

You are SO intentional with the way you live...you have a set outfit you wear each day every week. A monday outfit, a Tuesday outfit, etc...you line everything up just so. You are still my little man and LOVE to wear a suit and tie, collars, and button up shirts. Your hair is always done--you just always look so handsome!

At 11, you love to snuggle still. I hope you always will. You don't always have the easiest time expressing yourself, but you still try. I love your efforts, and I appreciate them so much! Getting to know you has been such an incredible experience. I love that we have things to share with each other, that only we can understand.

You still love tomatoes--and peppers--and many other things. But your taste buds have changed this year. You no longer like ham--or sausage--you really only like bacon. And while you used to love a supreme pizza, you not only will eat plain pepperoni. I don't quite understand the big change, but we are learning to adapt. :)

These 11 years with you have been so wonderful. Sometimes a struggle, as all growth is. But SO, so wonderful. You have filled our home with so much love. You have brought an incredible talent for music. Your spirit just strives to do good--and BE good. You are such an incredible example to me...and I love you far more than I could even begin to express.

Thank you for giving me 11 amazing years with you! I LOVE being your mom...and I am so happy you're my boy!

Happy Birthday buddy...
Love, mom

...Thirteen...

Dear Jenna,

I have just been so confused lately, wondering where in the world the past 13 years have gone? THIRTEEN...gosh, that sounds so old! :) You have been counting down to this day for months! You even wrote it in your planner alongside all the other important dates and things to remember. You showed me everything so I could write it down in my own calendar, and I crossed out your birthday and put CANCELLED in big letters. You got a good laugh from that. But despite my denial, today came...and you turned 13...and I continue to wonder what I've done to deserve a sweet girl like you.

At 13, you are kind and thoughtful. Just this week, a girl in your band class broke down crying on stage at your concert because she realized she wouldn't get any school awards and she didn't get any band awards, and it made her feel really bummed. You came right home and made her a certificate on the computer and took it to her the next day. I honestly was so touched. On mother's day you texted a mom who lost her oldest son a few months ago. And you checked back in with her later in the day to make sure how she was doing. You often are the first one to pitch in and offer to help, even though I know you would rather be doing something else. Your care and attention to Josie is just incredible. You help her feel like she is truly the best sister in the world--even when she is being crazy and difficult. I am so grateful for your kindness and caring. I truly learn so much from your sweet example.

My heart absolutely swells with love as I have watched your testimony grow and develop this year. I have absolutely cherished the chance to work on Personal Progress together every Sunday morning. I look forward to it every week--and I hope you know what it means to ME! I love hearing about the things you are changing, working on, and the goals you are setting in your life. Watching you change your morning habits and wake up, on your own, at 5:45 every morning to read scriptures has really been so inspiring. As I climb the stairs every morning to wake the boys, I see your bedroom light shining beneath your door and my heart just feels so happy. I want you to know I love who you are--and I love who you are becoming as you seek ways to follow God's plan for you.

For some reason, 13 makes me feel like suddenly life is racing at the speed of light...next year you will start early morning seminary and going to church dances...in 3 short years you will be able to date...and drive...and then I'm afraid I will blink and you'll be going off to college or serving a mission, or getting married and having your own kids. My heart just aches to think that your time in our home is 2/3 of the way over...But today, on this, your birthday, I do not want to think about how quickly time will continue to fly. I want to savor the here and now. I want to capture in my mind how you are today...spunky, fun, sweet, caring...a girl who carries herself with confidence and is okay to have her own sense of style...an amazing sister, a wonderful friend. I want remember tonight with you spinning in the light from the setting sun, with a smile of pure joy, your blonde waves flying through the air and bouncing off your freckled cheeks as you abruptly stop.  That is the you I see--and love--and always will.

My sweet Jenna girl...I told you last night as I tucked you in bed, that when the clock struck midnight and you turned 13, I needed you to remember that your age may say you're getting older, but that you will always be my little girl. I meant it...I am so grateful Heavenly Father entrusted me with you. You are truly a light in my life and inspire me to be the kind of mom an amazing girl like you deserves.

I love you J-Bird...May 13 be everything you dreamed it would be.

Love, Mom

Three...

Dear Josie,

I absolutely cannot believe that today marks 3 years since you came to our family. THREE! I have been thinking all day how this is even possible, because I am positive it was really just last year you were born. :)

At THREE, you are very into dressing up and playing pretend. You love to "cook" on your toy kitchen, haul your dolls around the house and tuck them in bed, and pretend to be a doctor almost daily. You have been obsessed lately with your imaginary spider-he is always accused of eating your candy, scaring you, and being "mean".

You love to ride your "bike"...which is one of our multiple ride-ons. If it has wheels, it's your bike. Plasma car? Bike. Scooter? Bike. It's all interchangeable. You especially love playing outside, going for walks, and being with the kids. And oh, how you LOVE play-doh and bubbles. You ask to go "bye-bye" every day, whether I have somewhere to go or not. You always want to walk at the grocery store, and skip the shopping cart--much to my dismay! :)

At 3 you love strawberries, raspberries, bananas, watermelon, pears, oranges and a host of other fruits.You are my fruit-lovin' girl!! You don't care for hot dogs, but you absolutely LOVE macaroni and cheese, and you pretty much live for dessert. Basically, my pregnancy diet has bled over into what you really, truly love.

The past 3 years have been some of the best--and yet some of the most challenging. It was a whole different adjustment to welcome you to our family and get back to the baby basics and sleepless nights again. Walking through the terrible twos and toddler tantrums again has been difficult. But it has also been so, so good. You truly make our family so happy, Josie!

I was reading back through the letter I wrote on the day you were born, and I was reminded of what a beautiful miracle you are! At the time, it was impossible to imagine life with you in it, but I look at you now and simply cannot imagine life any other way. You are the perfect caboose to our family, and your laughter, giggles, and funny phrases really do make our life brighter, better, and happier.

I know that every day, I have something to learn from you. Sometimes it is patience. Sometimes it is how to let go and just have fun in the moment. Sometimes it is how to clean up mascara from your clothes, or get nail polish out of our brand new carpet, or permanent marker off your skin. :) But as I look at you, I have no doubt you were here to teach me--to help me to learn and grow and become who Heavenly Father wants me be. I love you for that, and I always will.

Thank you, sweet Josie, for 3 years of laughter, tears, exhaustion, and happiness. You will always be my proof that God answers prayers...

I love you forever...
Love, mom