Week 30 - Always

There is a quote I saw at Hobby Lobby a couple years ago that has always stayed with me.
It is simple--really simple.
But I remember when I first saw it and life was chaotic and stressful and overwhelming and I wanted to drop out of life and just disappear. And then I saw this quote--it's simple words--and it struck me so deeply.
There is Always,
ALWAYS,
ALWAYS
Something to be grateful for.




This week was one of many tears and much heartache. It just felt like being kicked while I was already down. I just wished to disappear and leave all the stresses and hurt that were surrounding me.
If magic wands were real... :)

As the dust has settled on some of the week's events, I have found myself repeating this simple quote over and over.
There is ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS something to be grateful for.

And there is.

There are the beautiful sunrises and sunsets.
There are the free book programs for summer reading...

And trying out a wanna be waffle luv waffle recipe--yummmmm!



There's the empty lot behind our house that the kids love to dig and play in...


Also grateful...

-For a girl's day out lunch.
-That the rental company sent someone out to hopefully deal with some icky thistles we are growing.
-For forgiveness
-For laughter
-That we were able to sit down with our new accountants and get a great game plan in place.
-That school begins in less than a month (love my kids--don't get me wrong!)
-For a paycheck.
-For the guidance and direction we find through the scriptures.
-For food on the table.
-For modern conveniences
-That we have family coming this week.
-That we will be in Mexico this time next week. EEEEEEK!
-For bedtime
-For quiet moments at 1:30 a.m. to rock a normally on the go baby.
-To be able to provide health insurance through our business now
-to be done with a gigantic load of paperwork.
-For hot baths
-For eternal families
and even if I could think of nothing to put on my list, I am grateful this week is over. ;)

See? It's true. There is truly ALWAYS something to be grateful for...even if it doesn't feel like it in the thick of things.

I am excited for a new week. It'll be busy. But I am counting down till we get on a jet plane and head off to sandy beaches and sunshine, cooking lessons and kayaking, bike rides and dance lessons, lots of sleeping in and eating awesome food, and taking the little break that we so desperately need. 6 days!

Happy Sunday!

Week 29 - It was the best of times and the worst of times...

It's been a roller coaster week. Good, bad, ugly...you name it, we've experienced that emotion this week.

I can't even recall exactly what it all included, I just know that there were several days I contemplated running away from life. :) And many days this week, Brandon and I looked at each other and asked if it was time to go to Mexico yet.

On a positive note, we hit up Chick Fil A for the annual Cow Appreciation Day. We love this day every year! Breakfast was a hit--and we stayed to play for a while. After we loaded up and ran some errands, the little cows were begging to go for lunch. Not one to pass up a free thing, we stopped at a different location and grabbed some food to take home. Good thing we love chicken. :)



Brandon is officially official with his scrubs we just got embroidered. He usually just wears the scrubs from the hospital, but we've worked hard to get the staff all coordinated with scrubs in our color, and Brandon finally followed suite. :)




Also this week was one of his first big meetings with a group of doctors. Although it doesn't look like much, I worked hard on these bad boys. :) I'm still new to all of this marketing stuff--so my fingers are crossed it wasn't a total fail.



Also this week I worked on weaning this little bean. She loves to nurse. And I have enjoyed it with her--I love our snuggle time. I love that this girl on the go will stop to spend time with me. I love that it makes ME stop and take a few moments...I enjoy it.

But we're leaving town, and it's nearing time for her to be done. It's been hard....emotionally, physically. Weaning is tough! She wouldn't have anything to do with milk from a bottle at first, but we warmed it and she seems to be doing better. I do think she is sensitive to cow milk though--so we are moving to almond milk in hopes that it will clear up her red bum!




We have had the summer of random storms. It's sunny and nice, and then out of nowhere, BAM. Our fence fell and we lost our trampoline again--2nd time in 5 months. I had someone come take it away. We are giving up on a trampoline until we can have one put in the ground.

But we sure did get a SPECTACULAR double rainbow afterward!




The week ended with a misunderstanding of sorts...and it has my heart just absolutely broken because I did something that never ever crossed my mind as something that would cause a problem--but it did. And I upset someone. And despite apologizing over and over, I just don't know if it will ever be made right. And I hate that. I am human. And I do a lot of things wrong. But if you know me--really, really know me--you would know that I would never hurt someone intentionally. It has consumed my weekend knowing that I don't have forgiveness--that she is still probably upset--that things just aren't right. I have shed many tears. I have prayed so much. I have hoped to find a way that things can just be okay--
and I hate the unsettled feeling that they aren't.

I tried to keep my mind busy--Brandon and I made a great escape and went to dinner Friday night with some other couples--and Saturday I busied myself with deep cleaning and grocery shopping, and family time bowling. But the disappointment and anguish of knowing someone is upset with me,  just takes over and consumes my spare thoughts...

I have been thinking about how I can possibly fix this. The only answer I have really come up with is to lay this turmoil, and the stress of this whole darned week, at the feet of the Savior. I was reading in the scriptures the verses from Matthew 11:28-30

 28 ¶Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

and it made me think of a talk by Elder Bednar. (Bear Up Their Burdens with Ease)

Elder Bednar quotes,"Sometimes we mistakenly may believe that happiness is the absence of a load. But bearing a load is a necessary and essential part of the plan of happiness. Because our individual load needs to generate spiritual traction, we should be careful to not haul around in our lives so many nice but unnecessary things that we are distracted and diverted from the things that truly matter most." 

 He goes on to say,"“And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:11–12).

Thus, the Savior has suffered not just for our sins and iniquities—but also for our physical pains and anguish, our weaknesses and shortcomings, our fears and frustrations, our disappointments and discouragement, our regrets and remorse, our despair and desperation, the injustices and inequities we experience, and the emotional distresses that beset us.

There is no physical pain, no spiritual wound, no anguish of soul or heartache, no infirmity or weakness you or I ever confront in mortality that the Savior did not experience first. In a moment of weakness we may cry out, “No one knows what it is like. No one understands.” But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He has felt and borne our individual burdens. And because of His infinite and eternal sacrifice (see Alma 34:14), He has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy. He can reach out, touch, succor, heal, and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do relying only upon our own power. Indeed, His yoke is easy and His burden is light."

My prayer this week is that I can be yoked with the Savior--that my burdens won't necessarily go away, but will feel lighter as I walk side by side. It is my prayer that I can feel the forgiving power of the atonement, even if I never receive the earthly forgiveness I am longing for. And most of all, it is my prayer that this week I will be a little bit better--stronger--more dedicated to good than I was before.

Happy Sunday.

Celebrating 1 whole year!

I am big on dates...important ones. And I am big on celebrating them. So for a while now, I have been planning that we should celebrate our business turning 1 year! We officially bought the practice as of Jan 1...but celebrating when we officially opened for business and had a tax I.D. number and all our paperwork in order landed on July 11, and it sounded like a fun chance to celebrate our journey and reward our really, really amazing employees.

We rented a bed and breakfast backyard--an idea I had never thought of until this--but it was PERFECT! They had a beautiful setup--and an AMAAAZING outdoor kitchen with grill and countertops and fridge, etc. It was beautiful weather and we had some really delicious food and great company--

The kids had a BLAST in the pool and literally swam the entire time, minus a few minutes to grab food...aside from Spencer who attempted to jump back in the pool while eating an ice cream sandwich. Not a great idea--in case you were wondering. :)

We had one little scare when Kaden put Carter on his back and jumped in the pool--something they had done numerous times. But this particular time Kaden forgot he was jumping into the deep end until they were in the water and Carter was struggling. He called for help and I ran over and jumped in, fully clothed, and got him out. It was a scary few moments--but everyone ended up okay, and after a few minutes Carter was right back in the pool. My kids are really good at knowing where they can go and not testing the limits--especially Carter--and ironically I had just finished talking about this in a conversation with the other adults. It was truly just an accident and poor Kaden sobbed and felt awful about it all evening.

Otherwise, we had a great time!

We played a gift game where we had wrapped a bunch of different gift cards and everyone had their names on paper 3 times, and put their name by a gift. We then drew names on each gift, and once everyone had one they opened them. (some of them had been filled with rocks, etc and they were all different sizes, so it was fun to surprise them all with a small card. :) ) We had all the spouses participate too--it's lame to go to a party and not get to go home with any good stuff! :) Anyway, hopefully the employees enjoyed it like we did. We then got to send each employee home with a summer bonus and a card with my sappy expression of thanks... :) I really just don't think I can ever thank everyone enough for what they do to help us move forward and be successful. I don't ever want them to feel like they aren't valued or appreciated because my heart SINGS it daily!

This business and the whole process of being self employed has been a learning experience. I don't know if we are doing it all right or not, but I do know the Lord is filling in where we aren't. :)



Andrea and Josie...







They had the cutest butterfly benches that Josie loved to peek through!





MaryAnn with Josie--Josie was the clear moocher of the afternoon. :) She wandered to everyone and ate whatever they had, drank their water bottles, despite having her own sippy, etc.



YUM!


Brandon being the hot dog grill master...











Our other employee Andrea B sharing with Josie...






Jenna made this super cute sign. I had to giggle some. But she is so sweet and thoughful! ;)



Mooching again... :)

Week 28 - photo dump

It's been a while since I've posted some of the phone pics I have taken--so that's this week!

Carter had a birthday. He turned 5. I am still in denial. :)

Jenna used her master birthday party planning skills and came up with a Ninja Turtle theme. She is seriously so creative and her cute decor makes me giggle.

So far, each kid has been the proud recipient of a new bike for their birthday, since we got rid of them when we moved since we had owned then 2 1/2 years and still nobody knew how to ride them. But magical, things happened here and we are well on our way. We need to work with Carter on learning how to pedal now, but he is SUPER excited to have a bike now. :)  I had a video, but it won't upload. boo. 

We got crazy good movie ticket prices and took the whole family to see Inside Out for less than $10. It was a steal! We thought Josie would be good to go if we loaded up on popcorn--but alas, she was totally content during the 30 minutes of previous (no joke...seriously now, WHY are they so long?!) and we spent the movie taking turns getting up with her to walk around and keep her from screeching. It was awful. Cute movie though! We will just think twice about having her attend for another, oh, 5 years. :)

Passports came. We are heading to Mexico in a couple of weeks and we cannot wait! It's funny how having passports suddenly opens the world to feel like one big adventure!



This was our car after a drive through the country. No, this is not mud. This is bugs. Thank goodness for an unlimited car wash pass this month.





Posted from Instagram..."Spencers choices today included a big tantrum, having to come with me to run errands, and doing so in his pajamas because "he didn't think I was serious. " I don't think ill ever forget his look as we walked into target with him in pjs. Lol"

 

And that's a wrap! :)

Happy Sunday.

Answers...

The difficult thing about putting your feelings out there, is that they can be taken wrong. Can I just reassure that there is no anger or resentment? That I was having a rough day--and quite honestly, rightfully so. I have a lot on my plate--and it's really something that someone else wouldn't understand without walking in my shoes. I simply needed to get my feelings out. And so I did.

Ironically, after my last post, I set out preparing my lesson that I taught today. Our theme in Relief Society this month is from the Relief Society declaration...

 We are women of faith, virtue, vision, and clarity who rejoice in the blessings of the temple, understand our divine destiny, and strive for exaltation. 

 I was planning my lesson around that, and slowly but surely it turned in to the exact things I needed to hear. It was as though everything I studied was answer upon answer and spoke directly to me. I especially loved in a talk by Elder Uchtdorf where he says,

  "Sometimes we become impatient with where we are in our journey, don’t we? If you are 12 years old, you might wish you were 14. At 14, you might wish you were 18. And at 18, occasionally you might even wish you were 12 again and could start all over.

There will always be things to complain about—things that don’t seem to go quite right. You can spend your days feeling sad, alone, misunderstood, or unwanted. But that isn’t the journey you had hoped for, and it’s not the journey Heavenly Father sent you to take. Remember, you are truly a daughter of God!

With this in mind, I invite you to walk confidently and joyfully. Yes, the road has bumps and detours and even some hazards. But don’t focus on them. Look for the happiness your Father in Heaven has prepared for you in every step of your journey. Happiness is the destination, but it’s also the path. “Peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come” is what He promises.¹¹ That is why He commands us to “be of good cheer.”

As you joyfully use the map your loving Father has provided for your journey, it will lead you to holy places and you will rise to your supernal potential. You will grow into the daughter of God you hoped you would become.

It really touched me and reminded me that this journey is so much more than a carefully self-selected route to a land of perfection. It's about the very experiences that cause growth and change and help me to become who I need to be.

I still do wish I had spare time on my hands--I wish my load felt a little lighter some days. But I know that all these things shall be for my good--how do I know this? Because the scriptures have promised that and God always fulfills His promises when I do my part. So I will move forward and try to "endure to the end" with joy a little better.

One thing I know, after preparing and giving my lesson today, is that I DO have a divine destiny. It is impossible to recall exactly what was said and done in the pre-existence and the excitement and anticipation with which I looked forward to facing these challenges But, I know that because I chose to come to earth, I have a mission to fulfill.I have been granted opportunities and experiences that are so specifically molded to the things I need to learn so that I can return to live with God again. And I cannot achieve my potential without turning to the Savior. The things I need to fulfill here on earth--my mission- may not be glorious, or one of great importance to the world. But I know they matter to the Lord. After all, the greatest mission of all was one began in a stable in humble circumstances...

Tonight I am grateful for answers to prayers and for the inspiration that He stands ready and willing to give as we SEEK Him.

Happy Sunday..

Week 27 - Happy Birthday America!

I feel such a tremendous love and respect for our great country. There has been much turmoil lately--arguments, and certain government choices that have caused a division among many. There are natural disasters and destruction and some really awful people...but there are also some really amazing people, things, and circumstances. We are free. Free to choose and to live the life we desire to. We are free to worship how and where we will. We are afforded numerous opportunities. And we are ONE NATION UNDER God.

We started our Independence day celebrations at a flag raising. I was determined to get a super cute picture of my 5 littles, but I have determined that having 5 littles means that there are really very few times you will get that awesome shot. :) And thus we have this...the best of the twenty something attempts.





After flag raising, we headed home for lunch and naps, and I ran a few errands. In the afternoon, we went to a barbecue at The Davis' house. They hosted a super fun afternoon of food, visiting, a big slip and slide, balloon fights, and a fireworks extravaganza.

Josie was really excited to find our tiny camping chairs, and promptly crawled in one.



Within the first 20 minutes or so, Jenna managed to hurt her ankle. After sitting a while, she was back at it playing again. The fun only lasted so long and she ended up sitting out the last half of the party. Poor girl!


Josie rolled around and mooched food from everyone. :)


And Brandon had to prove he could, indeed, do a backflip on the trampoline.






The kids went on the slip and slide over and over all. afternoon. They LOVED it!





And Carter parked himself on the inflatable to have his dinner. :)




They played in the tree house...



And sword fought with pool noodles...



And did "awesome tricks"...



We lit off fireworks...even though it wasn't dark yet. Josie was NOT a fan...just for the record.









Then the kids decided to try a "no rules" slip and slide. This was the MOST fun for them...






We had some TIRED littles at bedtime. They all crashed immediately...and Brandon and I were in bed by 10:30 drifting off to sleep to the pops and whistles of the fireworks outside.

I am grateful for our freedom. I am grateful for friends and the opportunity to reflect on the sacrifices made for us to keep this land a choice land. Let Freedom RING!