The big 12!

My darling Jenna...

12. You have waited SO anxiously for this day. It is as though at the stroke of midnight, turning 12 would open up this magical world to you. In many ways it will. And I am so excited for all that is to come.

At 12 you love Paris--the Eiffel tower, any trinkets or decor that look French--you love it all! I have no doubt in my mind your determined spirit will find a way to get to France someday. You are really into art, creating, planning family night lessons or object lessons to share. My favorite thing about you right now is your bedtime routine. Every night, you pick a talk or Face to Face recording to listen to. You often will discuss really incredible insights and it just makes my heart so happy that you put yourself in a place where the Spirit can speak to you and teach you. Sweet Jenna, embrace this! It will guide you through many difficult times in life. But more than that, let the spirit fill you with a happiness that cannot come from anything or anyone else.

You used to come home crying that people would mistake you for a child 4-5 years younger, or that you were teased about being short. But you have definitely embraced your petite size now. You are starting to love accessories and dressing up, but you are still a jeans and t shirt girl at least half the week. While some of the combos you put together aren't necessarily things I would choose, I LOVE that you are okay to just be you--to choose what makes you happy, regardless of what anyone else says.

I have thought a lot about what advice I would give you as you enter these years. I look back on my own experiences and based on that I would say this...

-Love yourself. Not based on what any boy says or what any friend does. Love yourself, your talents, your abilities. And even love your flaws and challenges because ultimately they are what make you who you are and how you will become a better person. Love yourself because you are a child of God. And HE loves YOU!

-The gospel of Jesus Christ brings true happiness. There will be times it may feel difficult to study the scriptures or to feel like praying, or to do what you've been asked. But I promise you that it is worth it. You will strengthen and grow your roots of testimony and grow closer to the Savior as by following His life pattern as you dedicate your life to serving others and serving God.

-No matter how awesome you feel you look in your 7th grade school pictures, someday you will look back and wonder what you were thinking. :)

-Embrace these years with your siblings, even though they do seemingly irritating things. Find ways to show patience towards them. They look to you as the example and they will follow your lead. Your relationship with them will be SO important over the next few years. Your life will just feel so much better if you find ways to love them and be close to them throughout your life.

-Learn to laugh at yourself. If you're anything like me, you've got a lot of socially awkward years ahead. I just hope you grow out of it sooner than I have. :) But know, embarrassing moments rarely last forever. And thankfully many people are willing to forgive and let go. Be sure to be one of those people for others too...

-There is such value in keeping a journal. Do it now. You won't regret it. Even the small details, they may not matter in the grand scheme of things, but they will be so valuable as you grow and look back and see how far you've come.

-Remember to love others. It's like I said when I was snuggling with you tonight, I could buy you lots of different things, but the greatest gift is to love and be loved. It is far more precious than anything money could buy. To know you are wanted and needed and loved, and to feel that for others, is so fulfilling. I hope you remember this birthday and every other one you have, that YOU ARE LOVED. Regardless of what the world may say or what discouragement or rejection you may face, you are needed, You are important. You are cared about and prayed for and loved in so many ways.

I am so grateful for you. You are such an example to me in so many ways. I will forever love your ability to be yourself--to have your own style, and the ability to embrace change, and to seek out ways to be your very best. In some ways entering this stage of girl's camp, youth activities, and everything that comes with teenage years, is so terrifying. And yet, seeing your excitement for this stage and everything that comes with it makes it feel like the grandest adventure of all.

May it be just that--

And may you always remember that I am here to walk this path of life with you--the Lord on one side, dad and I on the other. You truly are never alone!

I love you to the moon and back. .
Love, mom

Terribly Terriffic TWO

Dear Josie,

I look at the number 2 and feel like someone is playing a cruel joke on me. Time goes so quickly. In many ways it feels as though you have just been in our family a few months. But no. It's been two wonderful, difficult, stressful, magical years with you.

At 2 you aren't very vocal--at least verbally. You definitely make your wishes known with yelling, pointing, and squealing. You do say a few things--mom, mainly. But I've caught you saying shoe, no and a few other little words lately. I am excited to hear you learn and make the connections that will have you jabbering a mile a minute.

You can make the kids laugh over the silliest things. They are all so in love with you--they race to be the one to wake you in the morning, and argue over who will tuck you in at night. They want to share their world with you, showering you with their stuffed animals and colored pictures and switching "their" movie night selection to something you might have interest in. Lately you've been obsessed with Ring around the rosie--and the kids do it over and over and over and you all laugh and fall into a pile on the floor, only to have you jump up and do it again! You bring a life and laughter to our house that I truly believe only you could.

Anyone who knows you, knows the way to your heart is with a treat...or two...or three. You have a total sweet tooth! You want nothing to do with cooked carrots, but will eat them raw. And you inhale blueberries, strawberries, mandarine oranges, and most other fruits. But you detest other foods most toddlers go-to...chicken nuggets, hot dogs are at the top of that list. But you will never ever turn down a bowl of good ol' mac and cheese.

Your nod YES is the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life--next to the way you fold your arms for prayer. We can be mid-meal and, despite having already prayed, you will fold your arms and look around waiting for everyone to pray, and sure enough, we all stop and do it because we can't resist your cuteness. You love to go "bye bye" and get your shoes on. You insist on wearing a coat or sweater even if it's 80 degrees, just because for you, it's part of the leaving routine. You love music--and you LOVE to dance. Any time, any place. Music comes on, and there's a smile on your face. The Wheels on The Bus is on your top 10 list of 2016 smash hits and you boogie any time you hear it come on or someone sings it.

Over the past 2 years I have loved to watch you grow and develop into a little toddler. Although you are still petite, I sometimes miss the way your tiny baby body just snuggled in to mine. Your legs are longer now, and drape over my arms as I carry you. Your little mass of baby hair has 2 cute ponytails in it's place. You never ever just sit still and watch the world around you--you were born to explore and you make that very known.

In many ways I have found that waiting so long for you to come to our family was a blessing in disguise. I have days where I am just exhausted and frustrated by your stubborn, adventurous nature. I have moments when I am tired of cleaning up messes and wiping sticky fingerprints of mirrors and washing clothes that you threw down the laundry chute--again--even though they were JUST folded. I sometimes wonder why YOUR food can only be eaten if you are sitting on MY lap. But I remember the vivid impression when I dreamed we would have you--it was very distinct. I see it in my mind clear as though it just happened. And I remember the impression--that we would have a girl who would bring us a profound amount of joy. So even on the days I am feeling less than joyous about life, I hold to the promise that you are the joy we were missing.

And you are.

You were loved before you were ever born...you are so very loved now...and you will be, forever and ever, the sunshine and laughter our family needed.

Love you Josie girl...to the moon and back again.
Love, mom