Loss...

Brandon and I have known this day was coming for a long time. The day we would get the news that someone we love is gone. While we have many friends who have lost cousins, uncles, aunts, parents, and grandparents over the years, the only experience with a relative dying was at a young age. But we have known, even talked about--as morbid as it sounds--and worried about who it would be, how we would respond, and how we would go about explaining death to our children who have not known of this situation with anyone close.

I got the call last night. My mom, telling me that my Grandpa Danes had been in an accident and was waiting to be taken off a ventilator. My heart is torn with emotions--happy he will be in a better place. And yet heartbroken at the prospect of loss. I ache for those closest to him, who are dealing with this loss and all that will come with it. And it truly saddens me that my children will never really know him because of the distance we have lived.

My Grandpa's health has been failing him for years--and time after time the doctors have thought he wouldn't make it. And yet, he has always pulled through. We have even joked at times, after yet another rebound to health, he is like a cat--with the alleged 9 lives. :) So I was stunned when my mom called me and told me that my Grandpa really was hanging on for the last few hours of life, not because of his failing health but because he was in a terrible car accident and his body and brain were badly injured.

After I got the call, I could hear his voice over and over in my mind. I still can. Certain phrases stitched together to create a medley of sorts...and remembering things that went with it. Like the time he bought his  little maroon truck--and he let me sit in the drivers seat to  try it out. He was so excited to be able to "trick" us...told me to put the car in gear, which couldn't be done without pushing the break first. Apparently that was a new feature on cars at the time. I can still remember his excitement over that!

I remember when he was younger, every time we walked past him he would grab us and tickle us or pull us on his lap in a firm hug. Though I can't say I always liked it at the time, it is one of those things I almost miss now. My Grandpa had a poem for every occasion. He really was a great writer and told his story in such a special way. 

I have really fond memories of the little town where my Grandparents live, just outside of Boise, Idaho. The home they lived for many years was on the main road in town. It was a big piece of land with an old barn and shop in back. And the gravel drive back to their green house was familiar. We spent hours playing outside there...going for walks to the park down the street, or playing in the basement with the oversize semi truck and experimenting with their laundry shoot. While they have not lived there for several years now, and their plot of land I remember has been turned into apartments now, that is the place I have most of my memories of my Grandpa....healthy, vivacious, fully of laughter, and stubborn. :)

It is how I like to remember him.

As I look at the legacy he has left behind--8 grown children, almost 50 grandchildren and even more great-grandchildren, I can only believe that he has had a wonderful, full life that will live on even after he has gone on to begin a new work on the other side, free from the pain and health issues that afflicted him.

I love you Grandpa....and will see you again.

SIX!

Dear Kaden,

6. SIX. I just cannot imagine how 6 years have gone by since you came into this world. You were such a sweet baby--in fact you slept through the first 24 hours of life. You slept through a bath, eating, pricks and prods...you slept through it all. And then you were awake for the next 3 days. :) I wondered if I would ever sleep again.

But once you got on track, you were content and easy-going. Your smile always lightst up a room. And your dark eyes sparkle and are so full of life! One thing that I love about you is that even though you are a dirt-digging, sword fighting, star-wars lovin' boy, your little BIG heart is so sensitive. You can tell if people have pushed my buttons just so, and you do everything you can to make it right. In fact, the other day someone was talking back to me and you came to my defense, saying to the other child involved, "stop talking to mom like she is a boy!" I was puzzled and asked, "a boy?" You responded saying, "yes, dad told us to always talk to you like you are a princess. And they are talking to you like you're a BOY!" It made me laugh. And yet, it made me SO proud!

You don't like to see others hurt, and you do not like it to be loud--your sweet spirit just doesn't want to fight the noise of the world. And the act of yelling or discontent brings you to tears. My sweet Kaden, I want you to know that caring for others the way you do, is something so unique. I marvel at the things you are teaching me--to be kinder, more gentle, and to push away the noise the world bombards me with.

At 6 years old, you are by far my best eater! You love it all! You would eat beef and broccoli daily if I made it--you're a salad kind of guy and polish off a container of tomatoes like it is a bag of popcorn. You love apples and peppers and watermelon. I've never seen anyone eat so close to the skin of a melon than you do! And you + any berry = a match made in heaven. You are getting better about writing, but this year you have truly become an excellent little reader! You love to read the scriptures without help--you sound out everything and it is almost magical to see this whole new world of words open up to you.

You are a little fish. Oh, how you love to swim! And you are SO fearless! At 6, you love Legos and Playmobil, and you ADORE Star Wars, Phineas and Ferb, and doing super sweet dance moves. You totally dislike wearing shorts, however. We go head to head about this topic, since we live in a place that is almost 100 degrees daily, and seeing you covered in clothing makes ME hot! :) But you are insistent...pants it is.

I see you grow, daily, and it amazes me that I have the chance to be your mom. You are such a special little boy. I am so happy you get to have this day that you have counted down on the calendar for weeks now. You deserve to be celebrated! And it means the world to me to be able to spend this life learning from you and loving you so, so much.

Love you always, sweet boy.
Love, mom

They've got the moves...

Much to my children's future dismay (as they are currently unaware), it appears that they inherited our lack of coordination.

I LOVE that our kids love to dance. And they love to try to run and be active. And I will encourage this as long as they are wanting to participate. But it does make me giggle a little. :)

I took the kids to a zumba atomic class recently. Jenna had a ton of fun. Even though her moves weren't all there, it WAS her first time and she gave it her all! Spencer wore sunglasses and pretty much stomped to the right and left and did his own little jig. Kaden lasted about 20 minutes and got bored. This is completely ironic to me because he can bust a move like no other at any given time. :)



I would also like to point out the similarity in height between Jenna and Spencer. She is 8. He is 4 1/2, and perfectly average height for his age. She is repeatedly mistaken for a kindergartner. And this is a fact of life she cannot stand! :) We try to tell her that there are benefits to being petite...but she has yet to see any, except that she always gets to stand in the front for picture day. :)



But back to sweet moving...


We were invited to a gym for a birthday party. (Kaden was invited to a different party that Brandon took him to, so it was me with the other 3) The kids had a blast swinging on the ropes and jumping and pretending they were gymnasts. I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty hard to not feel like a super fit and fab superstar gymnast when you're there. A trampoline possesses a strange ability to do that to you. I think I need a trampoline. :)







Carter was a whole different story. He not only thought he was fit and fab and a gymnast....but he thought he was invincible. He thought he could run out in front of anyone bouncing on the trampolines...and he thought he could jump on the mat with 3 other 8 year olds...and he thought he could climb anything and do anything and be just like everyone else.

Newsflash...he couldn't.
:)



But he picked up a friendly little buddy who ended up taking him under his wing and they spent the last 45 minutes of the party hanging out together. :) It was very funny.




Told ya...these kids have got MOVES! :)

Fake Rain

The other day we promised the kiddos we would go to the waterpark to play.

And then life happened. Running here and there, errands...just got busy.

But there was a chance to go--close to closing time, but still. :)

Everyone loaded up and headed over there ready to swim. The dipped their toesies in the water and then the lifeguard blew the whistle and had everyone get out.

A swim outing ruined on account of rain?

Gasp,

So we headed home, with some very sad kids.

And since the rain wasn't in sight yet, we made our own--in the form of a sprinkler.

We pulled out the popsicles and everyone ran around the yard soaking wet and giggling.

Even Brandon got in on the fun--cartwheeling over the sprinkler head and making everyone roar with laughter. I did take pictures, but I was warned not to post them. :)

But they were funny, funny pictures.

And then the clouds parted and the sun started to set.

 It cast that magic glow that makes everything look warm and perfect.

I still hear the giggles. And my heart has taken a picture of that day that still lives so vivid in my mind...

Making memories...My sweet family, a sunset, and some fake rain. :)

The things you do for love...

I love Brandon. And Brandon loves to paintball.

So when I came across a groupon deal a few weeks ago for paintball, I thought, "oh hey, I should see if Brandon wants to go with a friend!" Well low and behold, another sweet friend of mine said she was game to go and wanted to get her husband to go with, and suddenly it snowballed into a group date.

I would be lying if I said I was cool, calm, and collected. I was slightly panicked and trying not to hyperventilate. Okay, slightly kidding. :) But still. It was definitely not an activity that I was jumping up and down over.

But with a babysitter at home and a paintball gun in my hand, I was ready to go try this out--




We played in the woods first, with another group that was there. I realized that I could not play paintball on a regular basis or I fear I would become incredibly paranoid about the world I live in. lol. I was looking around constantly. Every crackle and crunch...every slight movement, I found myself wondering if that was the person going to attack me.


And after a couple hours in the woods, we used the rest of our paintballs in the non-forested area (that I cannot for the life of me remember...paintball course?) TALK ABOUT ADRENALINE! WOW!


I escaped with a minimal amount of bruises, but man did they sting! I still lack the understanding to see why that is something that people would do on a regular basis. But I will say, it was fun to try something new, to go on a super fun group date with people we think are AWESOME, and show Brandon I would do crazy things for the one I love! :)

Some Birthday Party math facts...

Take one 8 year old Birthday Girl....
Add 8 birthday invitations, and subtract 4 guests who could not come. If you're wondering how we ended up with 8 guests, PLUS my own 4 kids, it is a math fact that can only be solved by a very friendly 8 year old girl. :)

Take said 12 children and multiply by the last day of school.
Panic.
12 children on the last day of school are crazy I tell ya!

Also have to point out that there were only 2 girls who attended...the rest were boys. ;)


Take 11 hotdogs with buns and divide by 3, which is the number of children who ate at least 1/2 of their dog. We're figuring about 77% food waste for this party. :)




Take 6 gifts wrapped in pretty paper...



And beautiful cards to go with...



24 pair of earrings = 1 very happy girl.


1 number 8 candle on top of a cookie ice cream sandwich. I got smart after seeing all the lunch waste and cut these in 1/2. Of course, everyone insisted they could handle a WHOLE on the dessert part. :)



Brandon was at work and I was doing this party solo--but when a mom offered to stay, I jumped at the chance for help! And boy was I glad she was there! Like I said, kiddos on the last day of school are crazy! :) The mom who stayed brought her older little boy, who helped entertain all 12 children by drawing faces on about 20 balloons.







And I have 1 awesome husband who thankfully got off work 2 hours early and was able to entertain the crown with 2-3 fancy magic tricks.



This party raised my stress level about 30%. :) But all in all, it was ONE pretty awesome day for one super special girl. Happy Birthday {party} Miss Jenna!

Schoools OUT for SUMMER!

Being that this is the first year my children have ever been in school where they have actually stayed to FINISH the school year, I had some big plans.

Unfortunately, the last week of school we were running like crazy and in many ways I feel I came up short as the go gettem' mom who takes a billion last day of school pictures and  has special school traditions.

We were in survival mode. Period.

But we were able to see Kaden get a variety of awards...and officially finish kindergarten!

And Jenna followed...and officially finished 2nd grade!

And on a different day, we were able to see Spencer graduate pre-k.

He is SO, SO, SO excited to go to school with the big kids now. He has asked for MONTHS if it's his time, and I am so happy to finally be able to say YES!!! :)

P.S. the school told me to dress him "nice" So I put him in nice shorts and a dress shirt and vest. They never made mention of a graduation cap and gown! So poor guy looks like he's missin' his britches! :)

Oh well..you win some, you lose some!

And this picture makes me laugh so hard. He was so B.O.R.E.D!

(front row...4th from the right)

I was just so thrilled for school to get out! We are all ready for a change of pace. 

Ready for the chance to lounge by the pool and take naps if we need.

Ready to stay in pj's if we want...or bake cookies at noon.

We're ready to go on adventures and play games and be with friends as often as possible.

Summer...bring it on! :)

waterpark, waterpark--from mid-day sun until it's dark!

The day after Jenna's birthday, we celebrated not only her big 8, but the opening of our FAVORITE summer hotspot.

We swam, we soaked in some sunshine, we splashed, we floated...

And we had so much fun doing the same thing we plan on doing almost every single day this whole summer long. LOVE, love, love living across the street from this place.

Dream. Come. True.

Happy Summer!