Week 38 - Have Courage and Be Kind

I looked back through my Instagram pictures this week and there were...none. Not a single one from this week. I couldn't believe it!

So I am piecing my week together through the other random pictures I have on my phone...what you won't see here.

Not worth of sharing the picture, but worth of documenting...
Our Bishop gave us some of his beef, straight from the cattle he raises. We had yummy burgers Monday night!

Tuesday we went the lazy route--although, I would like to say we really took the efficient route. :) Tuesdays are so busy, between meetings and piano lessons and soccer, etc. And Tuesday a pizza place here has a pizza buffet where kids eat free, regardless of how many paying adults you have. So when you can take 5 kids and 2 parents to all you can eat for $12.00, well, that sometimes is the best choice. :) So we did.

Josie slept very little this week. I have had to remind myself often this week, that it won't always be this way. It's just such a drastic change from the sleeper we had who went 12 solid hours at night, to suddenly being awake and screaming hours in the night, or up at 4 a.m. for the day. What??! Needless to say, we have been very TIRED this week a a result. :) She has also been IN to everything. So, not seen is the vomit all over the floor that came as a result of her chewing on a dishwasher tablet she got into. Now, I have survived 4 other children and never once had to call poison control. I fear she may be the one to break the trend. :) This girl is giving me a run for my money.

We had an activity at church this week where I was asked to bring in some pictures I have taken to share something about myself. I have thousands and thousands of pictures and it was hard to go through and pick--so I found myself just randomly selecting 30 pictures I have taken to print. I didn't realize how much happiness this would make me feel. It was like I was awakened to a part of me that I miss--the challenge to learn more and do more and see life around me so differently. That evening inspired me to get out again--to capture life again, the way I used to. I don't profess to be the best at this. I am certain I don't do it all right. But I have learned that technical perfection means nothing if your photos don't evoke a feeling--even in you. So I photograph what makes me happy...



Also what makes me happy? Sunrises in Amarillo.
On a phone camera...with no editing. Oh, how mornings like this make me feel as though God grabbed his brightest, most beautiful colors from his pallet and painted our Western sky.




Friday morning I woke early and reserved the movie Cinderella from Redbox right away. I had to drive across town to get it--but it was worth it! Brandon was gone camping that night, so the kids and I had a popcorn and movie night. Oh, how we loved this movie! I even got Carter (who is not a snuggle bug with me at all) to cuddle next to me for a while. :)







I loved the little life lessons--those things that just stick with you.

"This is perhaps the greatest risk that any of us will take...to be seen as we truly are."
(loved that part!!)

And above all..."Have Courage and Be Kind". So simple. So profound. So very much what this world needs a little more of. And so very much what I want to implement in my own life better...

Happy Sunday...

Week 37 - Socializing, Soccer, and self-worth

This weekend I hosted the annual Favorite Things party--a tradition that I discovered when we were in residency, and one I love! When we moved here last year, I went through the post move blues--terribly. I'd had a baby, a move, we had a job change and school start, and really there was so much "stuff" that I felt lonely and overwhelmed. I remember feeling like this was the one time in my life when our situation wasn't like anyone else's...we had always been in school with others, or residency, and had a group of people to relate to. But suddenly here we were, over a thousand miles from home, and nobody else was buying a practice or just finishing their training. It was really just....us. And man, was that lonely.

I told myself that I could wallow in self pity or I could host a party. And so I did just that...and carried on the tradition I grew to love. And this year, we did a repeat event because I love it that much. What is a favorite things party you ask? Basically everyone brings 3 of the same item (valued $5-$10) of something they love! It could be anything--some people based theirs around holidays (someone brought a decorated mini Christmas tree and their favorite chocolates...someone brought cute fall decorations and their favorite fall Scentsy scent)...others brought their favorite mascara, or movie, lotion, etc. I brought 2 things--because I couldn't decide. I love them BOTH! I chose my favorite detergent--it has gotten stains out that nothing else could! Watermelon, poop, red sauce--I'm telling you, things I thought completely destroyed Josie's clothes, gone with this stuff!



And this nifty egg cooker--seriously 1 minute and you have almost mess free eggs...prefect side to go on an english muffin or bagel for a breakfast sandwich or just eat as scrambled eggs. It is the best and I use mine all. the. time.


Anyway, everyone brought their favorite appetizer or dessert and we had a super yummy, fun evening--at least I hope everyone did the way I did!

(OH! And if you're wondering how we swap, we have everyone write their name on 3 piece of paper and then put them in a jar, and as we go around the room, each person shares their favorite thing and then draws 3 people to take what they brought, etc.)




Anyway, I love this tradition--I am grateful for the chance to have a girl's night and host a little get together. I know many people think I am just naturally outgoing and it's no big deal--but I fear rejection big time. I struggle with doing and saying all the wrong things. So even if their is some anxiety about hosting a night like this...It always feels refreshing and happy afterward. I just have to tell myself it will be like that while the prep is going on.

SOCCER...
When our kids turn 8, they can choose an extracurricular activity outside of Scouts / Activity days (church sponsored activities). Kaden and Jenna chose piano. Spencer chose soccer....this is a big first for us. We aren't really soccer people...I mean, you can probably tell that by the shin guards outside the socks. We took note to change that next time...don't worry. :)

I LOVE this program we found. The price is right, the practice schedule light (1 hour a week, and 1 game on Saturday), and they focus on such wonderful attributes. They give an award for being Christlike, among other things. And they pray--I love that they pray. I know for some this isn't a big deal--but we live in an area with a variety of religious beliefs. I love that this unifies us all--and that we can implement such a special few moments before a game.



Spencer is still getting the groove of soccer...lots of running, but not a lot of kick action yet. I'm sure he will get it! :)




This was when he was sitting out his turn...Jenna was cute to go support him and hang out while he waited.

















It will be a busy, fun soccer season....

SELF-WORTH...

I have had this internal dialogue running all summer...one day I beat myself up because I am just not doing enough. The next I try to give myself a break and cut myself some slack and look at all that has gone on in life. And then I see myself--my not quite back to my pre-pregnancy self, and not quite as overweight as I was before. I am just here. But here isn't where I want to be. This leads me to feel such disappointment in myself. My clothes don't fit quite right, and I am really self-conscious about how I look and how I feel. I know without a doubt that when I am healthy, I feel it. When I am exercising and eating right I feel good--even if the clothes aren't fitting my how I want. But every day is a challenge to try to figure out the balance...my schedule...how to fit it all in the way I want and need and how to get back to a WW meeting that helped me so much. I know my worth is not found in a number on the scale. I know self-worth is not seen in a mirror. But I long to feel that confidence and health again....life is such a challenge to figure it all out! You know? And just when you have something all worked out, things change and you have to figure it all out again. :)

So many things to learn in this wonderful thing called life...I find myself, in times like this, thankful for the love of the Savior and the ability to rely on my Heavenly Father for guidance and answers on how to figure it all out.,,even if it doesn't come as quickly or easily as I desire. The answers always come...

Happy Sunday

Week 36 - Hard days and Good days

This week was HARD!

 

Just when we thought Josie was doing better, she got worse. The constant crying...all. day. long. Rough.

Then Carter threw up at school and had to come home--and since throw up is a symptom of strep in young kids, I worried that might be the case. Jenna woke up the next morning with aches and a sore throat.

Awesome. So back to the doctor we went....with all of them. After waiting almost 40 minutes AFTER my appointment time to be taken back, I was in tears and so frustrated. Josie screamed the whole time, and I felt so helpless and downright angry that my time was being wasted, when others who got there AFTER me, were taken back within minutes--and we were ALL at the sick clinic.

Anyway, they all tested negative for strep--which we knew wasn't true because Josie tested no questions asked 100% positive for it 2 days earlier. The doctor told us they all had awful looking throats and that there is a strain of strep that can trick the tests and actually be positive when it doesn't show up that way--and is also resistant to being treated with penicillin based medicines. So we got a few hundred bucks worth of medicine prescribed and were on our way.

This was INCREDIBLY bad timing because we literally JUST switched our insurance to a high deductible plan with an HSA--so we pay full price for the visit and meds until our deductible is met--we did this because we almost NEVER visit the doctor. I think we had only 1 visit last year, period. On the bright side, we were able to fully fund our HSA this year--so we had the money set aside. It just was a bummer it came out so soon! lol

After several days of getting everyone medicine and rest, Josie's non-stop screaming, whiny crying, and sadness disappeared and our happy girl came back! When I knew for certain she was better, we took a visit to daddy's office to drop some things off--she looked so cute wandering all over and exploring.



It was a week of little sleep, and lots of work--between sickness and packing lunches every day (someone poke me in the eyeball--definitely not my favorite thing to do ever!) and back to school nights,soccer, other meetings...it was a whirlwind.

The opportunity to go camping was on the table, and as much as I wanted fun family time, I could not get myself super excited about sleeping on the ground and getting little sleep--again. I will never be a gung-ho camp every weekend kind of girl, it's true. But especially not after a really hard, busy week, and with a baby. So I stayed...

We got everyone off, and then Josie and I went to detail our van and eat at a really yummy Japanese restaurant.

She was in bed by 7:30 and I enjoyed a couple hours of quiet, and then headed to bed myself before 9:30 ever hit--We both slept like rocks, until 7 a.m. which felt amazing. We had a good breakfast and then spent the rest of the morning vacuuming the van and wiping down every seat and crevice. Our van is CLEAN, CLEAN, CLEAN and I LOVE it!




I am grateful for a day off tomorrow. A 3 day weekend was needed to recover from the week...and to remind me that despite the really hard days, there really are many good days too. A friend posted this on Facebook today and I thought it quite applicable...




Happy Sunday.