Week 13 - It's gonna be okay...

Usually when I have weeks where I sit to do my recap, I flip through my phone to remember what happened in pics to spur my memory.

Literally every picture this week was of office stuff...arranging, paint colors, progress. I could probably write a whole post on the ups and downs of renovating an office space, but let's just say there is hope to forget some of this week in the future, so I better just let it go. ;)

There WAS also a picture of Josie eating a piece of watermelon rind from the garbage. On baby #1 I would have had such close tabs on her that such a horrific violation of cleanliness would have never taken place. But on baby #5, when your germ guard is down, during a chaotic week, you just laugh and grab the camera and be grateful that she actually may like watermelon! :)

Other than office stuff, Josie's nasty watermelon meal, and a meeting on Tuesday night, I have zero recollection of anything else noteworthy that took place this week. I feel like I summerized the majority of my feelings yesterday in my unexpected post. ;) But I had some thoughts today as we dealt with some more issues...

I hate the fact that we had to have some work done at the office on Sunday--I apologized profusely that they were there on the Lord's day, even though based on their responses I think they use this day different than we typically do. It was definitely an ox in the mire situation. I kept thinking how, despite the cost--which grew more and more since Friday night--I was so grateful that we found someone who could actually come take care of all of this so we could be back to work on Monday with phones and internet and everything else we really need. Our office will not be all unpacked--or decorated--or settled. But it's a start and we have what we need to function!

There was a time in my life when being told we needed thousands of dollars of work done just to be able to work would have completely made me crumble. Was it depressing? You bet. But I kept having the thought...everything is going to be okay. I feel it is absolutely no "chance" that we started finally getting our medicare reimbursements last week, after over 7 months of working and waiting. And in times like this where it could be easy to look and wonder, "WHY is this all happening??" I can look back at the events that lead up to this and know that there is no real answer needed because ultimately this is where the Lord wanted us to be and He has worked out far greater struggles in our lives before.

I have seen several people so surprised that our office moved--after all, we just took over less than 3 months ago. In all honesty it was a surprise to us too--it was not at all what we had in mind. Several events took place that lead this to happen, and it was as though a door suddenly opened wide and left no question as to what the right step to take was. And unfortunately, sometimes those giant open wide doors that open so easily, aren't always guarantees of a yellow brick road to a seemingly perfect blissful Oz. But one thing I DO know, is that when the Lord opens doors, He also makes ways for wonderful things to happen.

So today, I want to count my blessings...that tomorrow we will have phones. That we have so many amazing people on our team at work who helped get the office moved over and organized. That this new office is a chance to start fresh and really make this practice fill the vision we have. That even though the money is coming in slowly, it's beginning to come in. I want to acknowledge that the Lord has been so good to us in so many ways. I see this. I know this. I feel this. Even amid the trials and struggles and growing pains, I know He is using those experiences for our good. I know He lives. He is our reason for hope and faith...and the reason to know that everything really IS going to be okay...

4:39 a.m...

It's absurd to be awake at 4:39 a.m., on a Saturday, no less.

What's even worse is that I've really been up since about 2:30 a.m.

I just needed to write it all out--you know, those thoughts that clutter my head and keep me laying there awake. Perhaps if I get it all out, I can convince my brain to shut down and go back to sleep, oh, right about 6:30 when it's time to wake up. :)

In no particular order....here ya go.

--We moved offices yesterday. This sounded relativlely low key. Get the stuff over, unpack, voila. Open for business Monday morning.

What really happened was...spend all day moving, working around painters and contractors who didn't really finish when they said they would. Be told we need to hire an electrician to install an outlet in a closet--check that off the list. Unpack, unpack, organize, Run across town to nurse your sweet baby. Run back to the office. Be told the closet outlet you just paid for isn't able to accommodate the things you needed. Realize that aside from telling me the outlet I "needed" was not really needed, the internet and phone people also never told me that we would need all new wiring in our office...Several thousand dollars in new wiring...and that it is the kind of job that usually needs to be booked a few weeks out.

PANIC.

Have no choice but to have them take care of it--because I knew there was no way I could get anyone else out for a quote on a Friday at 5 p.m. and there is no way we can be without phones or internet next week.

{thankfully the company is making time to come out over the weekend and won't charge me overtime fees--but dang, it's a lot of money and stress and chaos that we never expected)

I spent all day there...away from my babies and home. I am grateful for those who stepped in and helped watch the littles because there is no way I could have done everything otherwise. I dragged my exhausted body home at 6 p.m. I told Brandon that I wanted to do nothing...just sit and watch a show and eat a bacon cheeseburger with waffle fries and a peanut butter oreo shake. And I did just that. And regardless of what the scale says today, I feel no guilt.

We still have another day of work today...and sometime in the next 36 hours we have to get completely rewired so we can actually have a working phone number and internet.

This self-employed business stuff is hard! I'm an all in kind of girl. My brain never stops thinking how we can improve and be better--do better--how we can step up our game and have the practice be welcoming and inviting to everyone who steps foot through the door, because I genuinely CARE. I am always thinking how to improve staff relations and make sure our office feels like we are a team. I have spent countless hours looking for office supplies at good prices, and trying to figure out which approach to take with marketing and promotional items. And while I don't know the exact daily workings of how the office flows and how to do what everyone there does, I feel like I am doing everything possible to push it from the back and and make sure we carry the unseen side in a way that will make the daily doings successful.

I just hope I am not failing...falling flat on my face.

If this were my job, I think I could separate my worlds. But it's really more my LIFE. It's our livelihood. It's making sure everyone on payroll has THEIR livelihoods. It's caring for our patients and wanting their experience to be nothing but positive. It's learning programs I haven't ever used and thinking about business things that most stay at home moms would never even consider. It's trying to live in a world of work and home and family, my church calling, and trying not to let everyone down in each of those aspects. And it can feel like a lot of pressure sometimes.

It's good--it's also really, really good to be a business owner. And we love and appreciate many aspects of it! But in this week of stress and chaos and bleeding money, it's also hard. ;)

okay, okay...enough about business...

______________________

Hard to believe Easter is around the corner! And General Conference...and our Relief Society training...and a Stake activity...and Josie's birthday...and Jenna's birthday...and everyone else's birthday--because we pack 6 birthdays into May, June, July and August...along with an anniversary. I actually had to sit and count back how many years we have been married. 12 years? 13? Nope, 11--going on 12. It's a far cry from when I would tell people we had been married 42 days, 10 hours, 13 minutes, and 42 second or something like that. :)

Where does time go? I'm thinking it goes to the land of the lost socks and stuff you put in a "special place" so you wouldn't lose it, only to never find it again.

It's like I remember vividly just waiting for the day when I would arrive--I'd be blissfully married and somehow my husband would make good money without really going to a job and we have 2 perfect, obedient kids and cut peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in fourths--triangles, with no crust. Granted, I was a teenager and let's face it, reality is often skewed at that age. :) But life keeps plugging away and the longer I am on this ride, the more I realize there is no ultimate destination. Rest stops, perhaps. But the road is long and uncertain, the peaks and valleys--the moments of absolute triumph and the valleys of despair and struggle.

In the end though, it's all a ride I wouldn't change because I know if I had it my way I would miss the spactacular scenery that comes as I press forward and take the winding unmarked paths and rugged territory that keeps my brain awake at 4:29 a.m.

Week 12 - Home

I just got back from a several day trip to Idaho to see my family--my sisters all came in to town and my Grandma joined us, and we all attended Time Out for Women over the weekend. I will update on all of that later--

This trip really just made me think a lot about family, and relationships, and the place I call home.

By the time Saturday night rolled around, it was like a kid waiting for Christmas. It isn't that I didn't have a good time in Idaho--but I seriously couldn't WAIT to get home and see my kids again. I couldn't wait to give Brandon a giant hug and smell the familiar scent of his cologne as I buried my face in his neck, I couldn't wait to hear Carter's funny giggles and see Jenna's beautiful smile. I longed to snuggle Kaden and hear about the latest book Spencer has been reading. I became so increasingly aware that even though we struggle and life is so very far from perfect--there is absolutely no other place I would rather be right now. I just love my family--and our perfectly imperfect mess--so very much.


I am grateful for family--for where I have come from and the lessons I have learned over time, and the chance to reconnect sometimes. And today, I am so grateful for the family I have now--for the chance I have to write a new chapter and change things and help create memories and story lines that my own children will carry into new life chapters down the road. I am grateful for home....for the familiarity that it is--and the many places it can be. As much as I love so much about visiting my "home base" where I spent several years living and visiting, all I could think was that I couldn't wait to get back to Amarillo--the "home" we have only known for a short 9 months...it's becoming my new familiar--the place that my own family is writing our story and figuring out how to get through life, It is where we are learning and growing and working on becoming better, for ourselves and for each other.

I want to shout it from the rooftops--I LOVE MY LITTLE FAMILY. I love the chance to be a mother. I love that I have a supportive and pretty dang awesome husband to walk hand in hand with on this adventure. And I am beginning to see that regardless of where we live--this family I am raising is the very HOME I long for.

It was fun to be away for a few days...I know coming back means chaos and routine and getting back into the swing of a tremendous amount of stress. But I am grateful to be reminded, as the wise Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz said, there is NO PLACE LIKE HOME!

Week 11- ThIrTy-FiVe

It is no secret that I LOVE birthdays! I do! I wish everyone could feel like the most important person in the WORLD on the celebration of the day they were born. In a sense getting older has made birthday lose their luster some. I am still holding on to the magic that IS on a birthday...because it's there. Even if it is something completely made up and only occurs because I have tricked myself to believe it.

I had some errands to run on Thursday and was up at the office--our sweet staff gifted me a gift card to Bath and Body--which I am SO excited about! I was SO surprised--truly we are blessed with an incredible staff, and not just because they did something super nice for my birthday. :)



One of my FAVORITE things about my birthday is going on my birthday dates with the kids. They each pick one of my birthday freebies and we pick a day to go together--just us. I was able to go with Jenna to Red Robin on Friday night. She knew immediately what she would order--and after chatting, eating, enjoying--we split the free birthday sundae.


Kaden and I hit up our traditional date spot--Texas Roadhouse. It was after his Pinewood Derby, so he was in uniform. The manager came up and gave him a cup shaped like a peanut. It was so cute!

Sunday was the big day--my kids were SO excited! Jenna made posters to celebrate a "Broadway Birthday" and the kids prepared a special song--they each gave me gifts they made and I loved their creativity. Brandon gave me a gift certificate for a spa day--which is super awesome. Even more awesome was him being willing to take some time off for me to go, and even scheduling the appointment for me. {insert a choir of angels singing}. Yep--I am stoked.

We had invited some families over for dinner--my traditional barbecue chicken and baked beans, chips, rolls, salad...you know, the fixin's. YUM! And we finished the meal with some cheesecake. I think I will be full till Wednesday. I REALLY love having people over--but it's been one thing or another and we haven't been able to do much of ANYTHING social. So that was my one big deal--I really wanted to have some people over. Period. It was a lot of fun--and the darn time change tricked us into believing we had a lot more time in the evening to play and visit and laugh--but alas, suddenly it was 7 and time to get kiddos home and to bed. But oh, how good it was for the soul.


Monday, Spencer and I hit up Rosa's for his date--they have insanely delicious homemade tortillas. YUM! :)


Tuesday was a busy day and I intended to have my bowling birthday freebie date with Carter on Wednesday, but Spencer and Carter both woke up throwing up. Unfortunately that was only the beginning. Poor Carter has not eaten for 3 days now--it took several rounds of Zofran to stop him from vomiting every 30 minutes, but he just doesn't have the strength or desire to eat anything now. It's cycled through everyone--Josie even woke up with it one morning.

So while I hoped to finish my birthday with a BANG, Our week really looked more like...




...and our car broke down to the tune of several thousand dollars...which turned in to us getting a new one--but because we had puking kids all week, we couldn't go out to look together. So I test drove, brought it home, Brandon drove it around the block, I took it back to the dealer. It was the weirdest car shopping we have ever done. We brought it back home for a night so we could drive it like it was ours to make sure it was a good fit. I loaded everyone up (they had started to feel better and I thought we were in the clear) and Carter proceeded to throw up all over. All I can say is THANK GOODNESS for leather seats and for plastic covering the floors. What a mess! In between car shopping and puke bowls and such, our trampoline also blew away in a random gust of wind and landed a street over. It's a mangled mess. :( We are really sad...

Have I mentioned we are in crunch time and our office is moving locations in less than 2 weeks?! EEEEK! It has been so much work--but we are so excited for the new chapter that it will bring for us! It just has also added a tremendous amount of stress. You know, since we don't have anything else going on. ;) We were able to finish the week signing papers on our new car--which I LOOOOOOOOOVE. It has so many cool things about it!

 

I am looking forward to a new week--and hoping it will be a tad less eventful than this one has been! ;) What a way to ring in ThIrTy-FiVe! :)

Week 10 - Derby Days

This week Kaden paticipated in the right of passage that comes with being a Boy Scout...the Pinewood Derby. I love projects--I love creating and working on stuff with the kids--but this project was made for a little boy and his dad. ;) Brandon and kaden worked all week, cutting, sanding, painting, sanding again, polishing, melting weight, attempting to create something awesome without proper tools...What they never tell you about derby cars is that 1. They can consume every free waking second and 2. that little block of wood that you race down a track will require numerous trips to the store and cost like $20 in materials. :)

But you do what you've gotta do when you've got an excited Scout.

Derby day came...He was SO excited!

Without any prompting from anyone, Jenna made signs for everyone to wear to support Kaden's car...they sported phrases like, "GO TEAM BATMAN!" and had the batman signal colored in. It was the cutest! I thought it was so sweet!!





The derby announcer was fantstic. He was funny and full, of spirit and got everyone really involved.




Josie was excited to be there too... :)




Showing off his Batmobile...





His car was pretty sleek--until they had to add more weights to it at the derby. We know better how to approach this next time--but it meant we had to add some weights on this time....












It is increasingly fun to see Jenna get all social and such. She loves showing Josie off and having her friends ooh and ahh over her.


Kaden came in 2nd for a couple of the rounds--and then BAM, he pulled out all the stops and came in first!





HE WAS THRILLED!!!!!!




Once everything was averaged among all the times, he came in 3rd overall. We had a really happy little guy!



We spent the afternoon dreaming up what cool contraption we could make next year--and I cant' wait to see aht comes to be! :)

Josie - 10 months

Dear Josie--

Oh, how time is flying! Even getting behind just a few days changes what I would update about you! You are growing and learning so fast! I just can't believe all the ways you are developing and the lightening fast pace that it's all taking place!

In some ways, you being an itty bitty is my ability to embrace the denial that you are growing up. I just picture you as my little bean...and then someone will ask how old you are and it is like someone else is speaking for me when I say "10 MONTHS". What?! 10 months?! How!?

At 10 months you are EVERYWHERE! You have mastered climbing up the stairs, and falling down them, and are really hard to keep out of things. The garbage can is your favorite place to hang out. It is truly disgusting! We have to keep the toilet lid closed or else you like to swirl the water around. And you are all about eating leftover crumbs off the floor. It's a full time job to keep up with you!

You are getting teeth so fast! And you're not afraid to use them. Needless to say, nursing you has been a challenge...a very painful one! You have the FUNNIEST cheesy face and will clinch your teeth together and smile SO big, with your eyes squinted close. It's hilarious! And you will go out of your way to do it if you know we are watching you!

At 10 months you giggle, pull yourself up, crawl anywhere you can possibly dream of, and throw major tantrums. Your hair is getting longer, and you wake up with some pretty awesome bed head. :) I keep hoping it will stay dark! Only time will tell.

You love bananas. LOVE them! You hate getting in your car seat, but once in there you're chilled and relaxed, and often fall asleep. You can often be found in your closet pulling all the clothes out of your drawers. You're a crazy, funny, silly girl and we love you so much!

It's been a crazy road, these past 10 months, but you have made our life so much better! We love you Josie girl!!

Love, mom

Week 9 - No place like home

Believe it or not, my pictures this week were incredibly limited! The only things I took a picture of were sales at the store, a blurry Josie with a cheerio stuck to her ear, and pics of my house. I still have a lot of work to do in that respect, but we are slowly but surely making progress. After we got back from Phoenix, my mom and I cut out pieces from a brand new white sheet I bought from a garage sale, and I cut some vinyl to put on the pillow cases. And VOILA! New pillows for the boys!

 

Their room is officially as done as it will ever be while we live here. I had lots of really cool things I wanted to do, but the reality is, we are just renting and there is no point to go crazy in a room that will be different in a couple years.

But I am satisfied with how it turned out--not perfect. But it's a happy room. :)


I bought custom name license plates for each boy from a shop on Ebay. They are SO cute--one to represent each state we've lived in as a family.



And I LOVE their bedding--it's simple, classic, coordinates with so many things! And best of all, IT ZIPS!!!!!!!!!!! Yes! It zips! So Gone are the days of blankets shifting all over and falling off the bed, and having the beds look like a tornado passed over at any given minute. These are all in one--and they make bed-making SO easy!

Want to see this goodness? Click here to check out how they work--I'm not even being asked or paid to do this review--they are awesome enough I want to share completely on my own!



All 3 boys wanted to share a room when we moved in. This was difficult because it's not a huge room, and the layout was awkward for so many beds. We got a captain's bed and put the other dresser in the closet, since there is a lot of space and it would go unused otherwise.





I got this cute parking meter bank on Ebay--I wished I could get a real one to put in there, but they were SO expensive. So this will do--all the change our family finds goes in the meter and when it's full we will cash it in and have a family fun day.





This brings us to the guest room. I have mixed feelings about this room. I finally found a headboard I loved and it got here the day before my mom arrived. The unfortunate thing is that it is a darker color than it looked online--so it clashes with our unpaintable wall color. I keep debating if I want to keep it, knowing that we can paint our walls whatever we want in our next house....or should I return it now and get a different color? Sigh. No idea. For now, it stays and taunts me to make a decision every time I walk in the room.


The guest room is also where we house our piano, since there isn't anywhere else to put it. Not totally ideal, but it works for now. And there isn't a single thing hanging on the wall--which also needs to be addressed. ;)



 We always have a bag of ghiradelli awaiting the guest room occupants, tucked in a basket with plush white towels. I LOVE having company--and I genuinely hope they feel welcome and cozy and comfortable here. Our room is always open--wink, wink--and we take last minute reservations if you're ever passing through Amarillo!



Our master bedroom--which, after photographing, I have decided I need to declutter.I wish I could justify switching out the bedding, but it is relatively new, so it will have to stay for a while longer.



The good news is, I have a vision for what I will do when it's time to change it up again! :)

I picked up our bed, which I LOVE, for only $50 at a furniture store garage sale. They didn't realize they had all the pieces there--but I found them and pieced it together. WOOO! Same bed sells for over $800 off the showroom floor. It was a crazy good deal and I was so excited!




We are working through--room by room--still trying to get it put together and turn this house into a place we call our home.