Week 43 - The Monsters in my life...

My life is filled with monsters. Perhaps it is the time of year--when the weather shifts and the moon is full. Perhaps they are always around, but sometimes they are easier to ignore than others...

But right now, I feel surrounded...

The monster named GUILT has me hanging my head in shame over every little thing...

-that I am not totally jumping up and down about coming up with Halloween costumes...

-that we are 4 days away from said holiday and I have yet to have things put together.

-that I didn't cook the missionary luncheon from scratch. In fact, I bought every last bit of it. 

-that I am always going for something...or someone...and yet feeling like I get nothing accomplished. 

-that I am blogging right now instead of cleaning up something...ANYTHING in my house.

-that my body is what it is right now.

-that I am not enough...

-that I have numerous blog posts missing from my weekly collection, and unposted pictures.

-that I just want a couple of days to get a grip on my life...without any responsibilities. 

And the monster named CHAOS has been right in my face so it's hard to see anything different...Instead I see:

-stuff. I like to think of myself as a pretty minimalist person. I don't do clutter well. But lately I walk around and it's one big circus that someone forgot to pick up from! 

-coming and going at full speed. We are very picky about the extra things we participate in. But my goodness, the past few months have been insanity. Meetings, church activities, house hunting, soccer, games, piano, more meetings...it's like, our time as a family is SO scarce. Date night? Almost non-existent. 

-why can't I just get a grip on our routine and schedule? It's like I am always a step behind and just when I think I've got it, there is an upheaval of some sort and things change, which leaves me trying to play catch up. Am I the only one?! 

The monster named SELF-DOUBT really likes to get under my skin. He constantly has me questioning if I am good enough...if I do enough...if I made the right call or did the right thing. He likes to really bare his ugly face when it comes to work...and church....and especially mothering. He always tries to cover my eyes so that I can only see the people who don't like what I have done...or decisions I have made. Oh, how I hate the monster named Self-Doubt...a lot.

The monster named STRESS has been a big one too...he combines forces with guilt and chaos and leaves me feeling so emotionally vulnerable and beaten down. He likes to laugh when he sees I am completely out of energy and feeling defeated.

These monsters like to dance around my life, sprinkling hormones and sleeplessness...

They taunt me and make me feel like I just simply can never escape them. Sometimes they are quiet...taking a break or napping for a while. I know they are there, but I can focus more on the angels named LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, GRACE, PEACE, COURAGE, and STRENGTH.

I'm doing my best--for right now in this very moment. I just wish I could shout that out to everyone passing by, raising their eyebrows at my failure. But oh, right now....those dang monsters are wide awake and using every ounce of energy to crush everything good in my life...

Week 41- tidbits

This week flew by--as are most weeks these days!

We are in full swing with house hunting--it's so stressful and agonizing because we can't find what we are looking for. I should stop saying we since Brandon has been totally fine with lots of houses we have seen (Sometimes I have reflected back and had to ask if we were in the same house!} So I will say that I haven't found what feels right or is what I want yet.
I'm starting to feel like we have seen it all--so we are to the point of deciding if we build or hold out for the right place, and praying that if there is something we are supposed to see it will pop up before our November 1 deadline. It's times like this I wish I could go back to kindergarten and have snack time and naps and not a care in the world! :)

This was one of the kitchen/dining rooms we looked at--it was AMAZING. I wish the picture hadn't cut off--it was seriously awesome. But there was literally no yard and the neighborhood is way more fancy than we want to live in..among other things. So the hunt continues.























Carter had his Kindergarten nursery rhyme parade this week. He changed his mind about 13 times on which nursery rhyme he wanted to be--and it wasn't till the night before that he officially settled on The cow jumped over the moon-so we were putting it together on the fly. (Thank you Chick-fil-a for your cow headbands from cow appreciation day.) He actually had a moon we cut out and a dish with a spoon, but he kept them carefully tucked behind his back. Oh well! :)
He was SO proud and we loved seeing him!!





Saturday we had a lot of things going on, and Josie woke up with puke all over her. Poor girl. Jenna dressed up in doctor attire and printed and laminated patient care sheets to us, and stayed with Josie while we were running like crazy to get soccer games and work stuff and Relief Society things done. She is such a great helper and I love her creative approach to life! ;)






Went to our super Saturday at church (a big craft day). Let me tell you--we have the most talented cookie decorator in our ward! She seriously is amazing--we got to make cute cookies and crafts, and had yummy soup. It was a fun day!



We are gearing up for a visit from family this week--(Jenny and Travis and their cute girls are coming) and plugging along through the month--I can hardly believe we are almost halfway through the month and heading in to November! How?!

Happy Sunday...