Water {babies} and parties

I am leaving in a few days for a cross country trip--and I am struggling to get everything caught up before I leave, because once I come back it's going to be an INSANELY busy time catching up from THAT! :)

But I best not get ahead of myself...

It's been a summer of parties...birthday parties, church parties, work parties. It sometimes feels like every time I turn around, it's another party. lol :) But we've also loved that chance to play--since almost all have involved water.

The podiatry department hosted a party at our favorite water park. And since it's usually me and a bunch of kids (and thus, the lack of ability to take many pictures) having Brandon around to watch them got me excited to just wander with the camera for a bit.

The kids had a blast. And the normal "no kids under 48" can ride the big slide" rule...was no longer a rule that night. So all night the kids went over and over and over, down the water slides. :) They LOVED it.

In between that event and the next, we had a member's night at our water park (once again). :) There was ice cream and hulu-hoop contest, and music--they did a water limbo and spinning the wheel for prizes..and face painting. Lest we forget the face painting. Kaden got a mustache, which was gone by morning. Jenna got butterfly eyes and a peace sign. The eyes faded, the peace sign remained. And Spencer got a super hero mask...that stayed on FOREVER. lol. So, when we went to the next event...he still had his mask on. :)

And then the other day we had our Pioneer celebration at a splash park in town. Hot dogs and lots of fixin's...tug of war and watermelon eating contest...cupcake eating and taffy munching and playing at the splash pad and park. It was SO much fun.

And there you see...Spencer's mask. :)

Carter LOVES babies. LOVES them. :)

Cupcake eating contest...

So much fun. And so grateful we've had these chances to stay up a little late and party like crazy. :)

Perspective...

I got news last night that made my heart sink.

My cousin's sweet 14 month old little boy had died in a tragic accident.

It was something that could happen to anyone. And yet, it happened to her.

And it has given me reason to pause and think...

You never know when the day or time will come, when someone will be called home.

You don't.

And a seemingly normal day can be turned upside down in an instant and change the course of life forever.
I believe that sometimes these experiences give a new perspective.

See, yesterday was NOT a good day in my house. After my countless requests for help from the little people in my house, all falling on deaf ears, I was at the end of my rope! I pulled out the "nobody goes anywhere or does anything fun until you learn how to be part of this family and help out!" And many tears were shed on all parts. I have felt lately that the older my kids get, the more difficult the parenting. It suddenly isn't about how much juice to give or if they're producing the right amount of diapers, or how long they take a nap. It is more and more focused on all that is involved in raising good, helpful, well-mannered children who will contribute in a positive way to society. And it is about doing all of those things with a variety of different personalities and learning styles.

And based on how life with kids has been lately, I have felt lately like a major failure in the parenting department.

If I'm honest, yesterday I was having "why did I ever have kids?" thoughts.

Please tell me you have those days...sometime?

Brandon swooped in and helped take over things at home and I went shopping for school supplies and to run errands. I came home to a sparkling clean house and 3 apologetic kiddos. And at the end of the day when I tucked in exhausted kids, I was relieved. 

But then I heard about the loss my cousin is experiencing.

And as I went about my routine for the night, I kept thinking how things could be so different. 

How would I feel to be standing over an empty crib instead of laying down my chubby little guy and covering him up with his favorite cars blanket?

How would it be to have an extra seat at the dinner table?

How would I feel to face such a loss right now?

It made me find, if even for a moment, that perhaps I take the less than perfect moments for granted...
Because I have those moments still.
I have my 4 sweet children here with me.
And while this doesn't excuse the talking back and the bad attitudes and things that sometimes go so very wrong at home, it's made me try to be a little more patient when we DO have those times...
 Because life can truly change in an instant.

It just gave me a little different perspective.

My heart breaks for this family. And I know she and her husband (RaTona & Ruben Fuentes) and all of those so close to this beautiful little boy could use many prayers right now. 

 I also know that they were unprepared for such an unexpected tragedy and are facing the staggering costs associated with trying to lay their baby to rest. I can't imagine taking on the financial burden of this, on top of the emotional one. And I would love to help take some of that off of their shoulders.

While many of you don't know them, I am asking--pleading even--that you join me in helping them heal. I have seen such strength that comes from being loved and supported by strangers and friends alike.
 And I know that ANY amount would be so very appreciated.

My cousin posted this song for her baby--and I thought it was such a beautiful tribute. 

"We eat all we can and sell the rest." A little trip to Blue Bell

This week I tried to make good on a couple of our summer bucket list items...

One being a trip to the Blue Bell factory, to indulge in all things DELICIOUS. :)

We went with some friends(my friend Robyn and her boys), and met up with some others. ALWAYS love a chance to see the Wyeth's! 

A certain somebody was a total grumpy goose and refused to smile, even though he was excited to be there.

Shall we play Where's Waldo? :)

No cameras were allowed on the tour, but Carter LOVED seeing things through the big windows. All the kids did, really. But I loved his little finger pointing and his eyes wide open, in amazement! We learned so much and had a great time seeing it all!

Their motto is "We eat all we can and sell the rest". And it's true! A breakroom full of Blue Bell, all to be eaten as much as desired? Yes, please! :) 

We ended our tour with a big scoop of the good stuff. And boy was it worth it! :)

I may or may not have ordered blackberry cobler for Carter so I could taste it...

it was good. :)

I chose chocolate chip cookie dough for me. ALWAYS a fave!

Ah, sweet William--son of my friend Jessica!

And Jenna with her friend Evelyn.

And the cutest squeezy cheeks ever! :)

A little snapshot of my and the kiddos--

DREAM. COME. TRUE.

MMMM.....

What's YOUR favorite flavor?

I am definitely a banana pudding girl...

And the cookies and cream is AMAAAZING.

And the cookie dough is seriously more cookie dough than ice cream.

mmm....

Afraid of the electric shock that may come from all the drool on my keyboard now.

So moving on...

A factory tour without a hat? Practically a crime! :)

So of course, everyone got one...or two...

SO much fun. :)

Summer Bucket List...

Blue Bell factory--CHECK!

Summer fun

We have had a busy, but fun summer.

The crazy thing is, if you asked me what we've been up to, I wouldn't be able to pinpoint one specific thing.

Doctors appointments, dental appointments, meeting new friends, playdates, and lots of babysitting.

I had intentions to sign people up for lessons and classes and mini-camps.

We didn't do a single thing!

Just swim. Play in the sprinkler. Have movie nights. And family slumber parties.

Rinse. Repeat.

That's it!

But the summer has flown by--and I do mean FLOWN by.

And while I definitely have some days that feel like I can't wait for school to start, for a routine to be back in place and have a break to grocery shop and do what I need without little people needing me all day, 

I know that day will come--

And ironically, I know when the day DOES come, I will find myself wishing for the carefree days filled with summer fun.

The best thing about a 2 year old...

is the priceless expression on his face when he unwraps his new birthday sippy cups.

Old enough to get into the birthday thing....but young enough to think everything you got him is AWESOME!

Lookie WHO is turning TWO!

Dear Carter,

I simply cannot believe you were born TWO years ago! You have brought such a special feeling to our family these past 2 years and we love having you be part of our eternity.

At 2, you have a couple different sides to your personality. In public, you are shy most of the time, burying your head if someone makes eye contact. But the truth is, you are a party animal at home. You dance and run and scream. You think you are HILARIOUS! ;) But the kids do too. You are a little fish in water. You jump off the side of the pool without any fear. You get pummeled by the bucket of dumping water at the water park and it doesn't even phase you. Sprayed in the face? A-okay! You love, love, love water.

You still don't talk much. I am beginning to realize that is just how it is for my sweet boys...the silent type. I know you're just not ready to talk yet, but you are smart. I can tell. You never fail to try to "tattle" and get your points across. It is so funny to hear the different tones in your chatter. You ADORE books. All kinds. You carry them around and hand them to anyone who will read them to you. And oh, how you love to sing. Obviously, no words match the tune you are singing, but you really believe you are getting all the words out! :) You can do the actions to songs they have taught in nursery and really get into it.

You are starting to really favor characters and recognize things around you. You love getting the orange plate at dinner, and start rocking out when you see Phineas and Ferb on the TV. And when you see dogs, you stick your tongue out and start to pant. And the other day you even dug through the bin of snacks to pick out a certain character fruit snack, instead of the generic Wal-mart one.

Speaking of eating. Oh my, you are a stubborn boy! You are my pickiest eater by far! Some days you love cantaloupe, green beans, watermelon, corn...some days you don't. Some days you ONLY want the bun, and some days you only want the inside--sloppy joe meat or a burger, etc. And you would drink juice around the clock if you could--which you can't because I won't let you--but you try, every time. :)

I think it's because you KNOW that you have our hearts all wrapped up in you! We LOVE you. We love your snuggles and smiles. We love your laughter. And we love the miracle of watching you grow and learn. I can honestly say, even the 4th time around it doesn't get old or less of a marvel.

We love everything about you, sweet boy! Thank you for filling our lives with so much good and making our family feel complete.

Love you,
mom

The POWER of a post...and multiple miracles

I have wanted to write this for a while--since this is really the beginning of what made all my pictures and experiences, and saying goodbye a possibility.

When I heard my Grandpa was going to die, I felt so helpless. I wanted more than anything to be there with my family--even though I knew I personally could make the pain all go away. I slept on the prospect of going to the funeral. And when I looked at the fact that I have 4 kids to care for, a husband with little time off, and limited resources, and the insane cost of last minute tickets, the execution of such a plan seemed bleak.

In all honesty, not even a few days prior I had budgeted everything out for the next 4 months. I figured out where every dollar was going and how to pay off certain bills--what was needed for our upcoming family trip to Idaho for a wedding in August, school fees and supplies...I mean, I calculated it ALL out. And summer was going to be tight, to make sure everything could happen and we could do it without going into debt, which is something we have been trying SO hard to avoid and to get out of!

I knew in my heart that I didn't have the money to go.

I walked around my house wondering what I could sell to come up with the funds. But nothing jumped out as something that would give me the sum I needed.

I had posted on Facebook about my Grandfather being on life support and knowing he was going to pass on. Somewhere in the comments of that post was an offer from a man I attend church with. He suggested that he would easily waste $20 on junk and instead wanted to put that toward getting me to the funeral, and encouraged others to do the same to show how much they cared and help me travel to the funeral without worry. Another friend jumped in and agreed, and promptly set up a paypal fund for me.

I was SO blown away at their generosity--I had never asked for anything. I certainly didn't expect anything from anyone, and figured I would be returning the donated money because I certainly wouldn't have enough to get there.

But over the next few hours, I received email after email notifying me that there was yet another donation sent. I cried. Every single email brought tears. Lots. Some of these people I have never met in person. Some of them I have known for years. Some have financial struggles of their own. And yet, they all gave.

I gave Brandon an update through the day, seeing a glimmer of hope, but still not convinced I could come up with what I needed.
Later in the day, the Relief Society president came by with an anonymous donation of money that put my total at more than I needed to buy my last minute ticket to Idaho.

I sobbed. I prayed. I gave thanks. I was truly in awe--And for the first time in a very long time, I didn't feel alone. I felt I was really, truly loved and cared about. By my Heavenly Father and by those around me--near and far.

You see, this past year has been a really hard transition for me. I have prayed many nights for Heavenly Father to take away the loneliness and depression I have felt. I have wondered what purpose I have in life-- I have just felt an incredible void that I can't quite explain. It isn't that there is anyone to blame. I have known much of this is just ME--and Satan filling me with his lies to make me feel helpless and miserable. It is the post-vacation blues that happened last year that never went away. It is putting my foot in my mouth too many times. It is a lot of things, really.

I felt so humbled by this experience. I know that there are many others who have relatives pass on and live far from home--who face the same expenses I did. I know many others struggle in many ways. And in a way I felt really guilty that so many wonderful things were happening to me in the same day. I have felt an incredible amount of gratitude and my life is forever changed by this experience. It wasn't just the monetary part that made such a difference. It was knowing that so many people cared--for ME. That I wasn't just a name on a screen or a face around town to them. I was a person. A real person. And they saw my needs and acted immediately.

As I was trying to  book a ticket, nothing felt quite right. I found a flight eventually that I thought would work perfect. When I went to book it, it had gone up over $200 from the previous listed fare. I was heartbroken. I suddenly had the impression to check one way on a different airline, and low and behold I could take 2 different one way tickets on 2 different airlines and it was cheaper than the initial RT ticket. As I was checking out, the screen alerted me that the fare had decreased and it asked if I wanted to continue still. (who would honestly say no at this point!?!?) I clicked the the next page and the one way ticket I was buying suddenly dropped over $100. Never in my life have I had a ticket drop in price when purchasing. Especially a one way on a major airline that would normally be 2-3x the cost of a RT. I was literally shaking so much I couldn't type in the payment info. :)

It was so clear. Heavenly Father's hand, once again.

I get tears in my eyes every time I think about that day. It was a day of miracles. A day of change. A day of hope.

I had prepared myself to NOT go to the funeral. I had known it wouldn't be the end of the world. But as I watched the events unfold and took part in experiences I wouldn't have if I had been at home, I know for certainty that The Lord had His hand in making sure I was there. And He used so many wonderful people around me to do so. I needed this experience. I needed to go and see my family and say goodbye. I needed to spend those 30 quiet minutes alone in the back bedroom crying and talking with my Grandma. I needed to be there to help document--to take pictures and record things. I needed to have that renewed sense of being--that I matter to someone, somewhere. I needed to be reminded what kind of friend I can be...And most of all, I needed to be reminded that we are all part of a bigger plan in life and while Heavenly Father never leaves us, He sometimes lets things be while He is working miracles behind the scenes that can only be evidenced through the hands of those here on earth.

I feel so blessed.

Life goes on...

After the funeral and luncheon, we all went our separate way for naps and to regroup...

And then met up again in the evening at Uncle Jim and Aunt Connie's place. Oh, the people you can cram into a space when a family gathering is taking place! :) There were burgers and brats and food galore! There were people in the living room, in the kitchen, in the yard, on the porch--being far from family, I don't see this much anymore. Sometimes that's a good feeling. :) And then there are times like this, I miss it. We had just laid Grandpa to rest--the day had been draining in so many ways--and this was a reminder of all the good that came from a life he had with my sweet Grandma.

(Uncle Jim, manning the grill!)

Aunt Kathy with my mom

My cousin's cute boy, Wyatt (who I feel like I should call my nephew. :)

My sister Esther brought her baby Leah, who I hadn't met yet. :) Such a sweetie!

And my cousin Ashley and Joseph--who I stayed with this trip. Love them!

I loved surveying the scene...playing, eating, chit-chat...And the Idaho sun that seems to never go down cast the most beautiful summer glow. I was in perfect light HEAVEN! :)

My Grandma decided to join us last minute, and I was so glad. She is such a woman of grace and courage. And I know she will find a way to move on without Grandpa there. But I know there is a great sense of loss right now. It's a new kind of lonely.

59 years married to someone you love does that.

(Grandma Danes and Darlene--Grandpa's sister)

(Sarah, Melinda with baby Cole, and Justin)

Paige

Cousin Nicia and her kiddos. :)

And my niece Ellie...who was SO hilarious to watch with this dog. :)

I am just so grateful for family. It's not always perfect. There are issues, and moments, and things that feel completely dysfunctional at times. :) It is learning toleration and patience with others' shortcomings. 

But it's also support, and coming together, and laughter after tears...and something about the crazy mix of personalities we are given in life, to share experiences with and learn together, makes it possible for sorrow to become sweetness and for life to go on.