Weighing in - week 7

I've got to start by saying that I have decided no matter how many times I try to explain my lifestyle change and how it's NOT a diet, some people just won't understand. :) If I want a cookie, I eat a cookie...I just have to be willing to account for that in the day. Sometimes it's worth it. Sometimes it's not. THAT has been what has kept me making better choices. Deciding if I really want to write down at the end of the day that I ate 5 cookies and 3 bags of fruit snacks and 2 helpings of dinner, etc. I don't want those decisions to stare me in the face--and so I make choices. It's about being accountable for the food I am consuming...and not letting emotional eating and MINDLESS eating get the best of me like it has for so long.

This week I FINALLY got to start throwing in some exercise! With post-baby recovery and then surgery recovery and having family here and such, there was just not a good chance to throw exercise in there. I have put off working out for years now. I always used the excuse that I didn't have time or couldn't afford the gym or I hadn't found something I like. I suppose all of those things are true--but there are still ways to fit it in. I think I just had to be OPEN to it--and to finally be ready to make the change.

My sister suggested a workout video: Leslie Sansone: walk at home-5 mile fat burning walk. I ordered a copy and have LOVED it! It's not just walking in place--though it sounds that way, huh? :) She breaks each mile down--and they end up being 12 minute miles. She suggests that one way to fit in the working out is to do one mile before each meal. For whatever reason that CLICKED with me! Because I don't have a dependable schedule right now (never know if Carter will need to eat first thing in the morning or when he will wake up, etc), and am trying to get kids out the door and to school early, I felt stressed out by throwing in a full workout early in the day. And yet, I want to be READY for the day and not come home and get all sweaty and have to shower and take way into the late morning getting ready.

But 12 minutes? YES! I have 12 minutes! And I have 12 minutes several times a day. It's the perfect amount of time to where I feel hot and my heartbeat is up, and I feel my body working--and I am able to end RIGHT Before the sweaty stuff comes into play. So I can really slip this in all through the day.

And I'll be honest, when she says "you just did a mile!" I feel like I accomplished something!! lol. Even if it IS just a mile. So for now, I am aiming for 3 miles a day, plus the distance I walk taking Jenna to school and picking her up. Eventually I will probably rotate workouts, but for now, it's a good place to start.

I've noticed this week too that my palette for certain foods has changed. I am starting to feel like I am not tempted by a lot of the foods I was before, which I am grateful for. (even though 5 guys fries still call my name!!) :)

It's been good. Really good. Still slow. But still progress.

Week 1 - lost 2.2 pounds

Week 2 - lost 2.2 pounds

Week 3 - lost 2 pounds

Week 4 - lost 2.8 pounds

Week 5 - lost 2.8 pounds

Week 6 - lost .4 pounds

Week 7 - lost 3.8 pounds

Total lost to date: 16.2 pounds.

13.8 more pounds to go!

My pair of preschoolers...

Today was the long-awaited day...the first day of preschool for two very excited little boys.

I was so thrilled for them to go--a new place to explore with new friends and new toys. We pulled up to the building and I got them out of the car and watched my two little handsome boys with their big backpacks hold hands and walk into the building...

My heart just wanted to burst...I was so happy for them...so PROUD of them.

And as I pulled away from the school, I happened to hear the lyrics to a song on the radio...and it made me think of the boys...

(lyrics changed to fit my situation)

"Just watching them it breaks her heart because she already know, it won't be like this for long. one day soon those little boys are gonna be all grown up and gone. This phase is gonna fly by, so she's trying to hold on...cause it won't be like this for long..."

That's when the tears started to come...

It WON'T be this way for long...they won't stay little forever...and the past few years of FIRSTS and milestones are just a gateway to the many more that are in the near future...

And I am okay with that. I am. But it also makes me want to cherish every single stage...even the rough ones. (cause let's face it, they exist!)

I love you Kaden and Spencer--you make this momma HAPPY. ;)

You can listen to the song here...the youtube selection for this song was slim pickin's, so if you don't like to stare at men in tank tops with cowboy hats, you can sure scroll up and look at two cute boys with backpacks on. :)

<

HAPPY Campers

On Friday, after a spontaneous last minute decision, we packed up and headed out:

Cuddling up trying to stay warm in sleeping bags

Allowing the kids a REALLY late bedtime

Making s'mores, roasting hotdogs and starbursts over an open fire

Playing on the playground, by the lake, and at the pool

Insanely laughing at a variety of really funny (yet probably really un-funny) all night.

Not sleeping very well...

Going on our very first family camping trip!

They've never been so excited to go to bed...mainly just because they had a tent and sleeping bags to go to.

The kids saw the swan in the lake and immediately called him Odette (Swan Princess). Little did they know, his real name is Henry. :)

A HUUUUUGE thanks to Jenny and Travis for coming with and taking charge of so many details--we loved their company, and seriously couldn't have pulled this kind of overnighter off without their camping expertise. :)

Back to school....how it's been

School's been in session a couple days now. Here's how it's been around here...

wake up, make breakfast, break up fights, get everyone ready to go.

Walk Jenna to school...me with more kids than fit in the stroller or WANT to sit in the stroller...sometimes it's chaotic. :) But it's good. Walk back home...boys play and play together. Then it's time for lunch and for Spencer to take a nap (since Kaden, on most days, is out of the "daily naps" club...). During the summer, Kaden and Jenna would play together for the 2 hour naptime. And now Kaden finds himself alone...while Spencer sleeps.

He seriously comes asking if Spencer can wake up half an hour after he's gone to sleep.

I feel so bad for him--he's a lonely little guy, and I am brainstorming how we can fix this lonliness for the rest of the year! :) I see some good mom and Kaden time in our future.

After naps and a little more playing, we all head back to pick Jenna up from school. Spencer almost ALWAYS insists on running, He thinks his new tennis shoes are FAST. ;) Once home, the kids all run downstairs to the toy room and spend as much time as I let them playing together. It is one of my favorite times of the day--because they are all actually HAPPY to be together...unfortunately, this doesn't always last.

Jenna came home giving the first day of school a thumbs up--she said art was "THE BEST EVER!" and is super excited about music and gym.

Kaden and Spencer have their new backpacks picked out, and are ready to make their big appearance at preschool on Tuesday. They are both SO excited...

I have to admit that it will kind of be nice to just have Carter in tow a couple days a week--at least for an hour or two. It's a strange thought...to have the kids somewhere else and not always by my side. But they are honestly BURSTING with excitement to be as "cool" as Jenna...to be in school with their book bags, have a teacher and spend time in their school gym. ;) I am excited to watch these little guys learn and grow this year...

;)

Weighing in - Week 6

Where to start? {deep breath}

I have had a lot on my mind in regards to weight and food and such this week. I've had several people ask me what diet I am on or what I am doing to lose the weight--and I always respond I am just watching portion size and switching out for some healthier options on certain foods. This is absolutely true. But the tried and true method I am following is via the Weight Watchers momentum program. There. I said it. {whew} My sister recently met and exceeded her goal of losing 28 pounds by following this program, and was a total inspiration to me. (you should see her before and after pics here! She looks FABULOUS!)

I absolutely LOVE this program...but for whatever reason, I have always felt really self-conscious about saying that. I think in part because I am literally one of the only young people at the weekly meeting I attend, and in part because people associate any food program with a diet. And I absolutely stand firm behind the fact that I am not on a diet--I HATE that word--I hate the feelings behind it. I am just revamping my eating habits, because this is how I intend on making it permanently. I am aware of the things I am putting in my mouth and it has made so much of a difference in the things I CHOOSE to eat.

The things I have learned and the ideas I have been introduced to are things I am beginning to change in the way my whole family eats! We have realized that we certainly can cut out some of the fatty and high-calorie parts of our meals--and have them still taste just as good. And we are finding lots of ways to throw more fruits and veggies in the things we already eat--and trying out new meals that are being added to our family menu.

It's just a healthier way of life--a TRUE lifestyle change. And I FEEL GREAT about it.

Portion control is the other big thing. I can't tell you how many times we have had a big Sunday dinner--roast, potatoes, carrots, etc. and a big batch of homemade rolls to go with it, and we have all ended up eating 2-3 rolls JUST BECAUSE...

This Sunday I still made my roast and veggies, and I even made my yummy potato rolls to go on the side. But I ate ONE this time. ONE. I ENJOYED that one roll--instead of just downing them like popcorn. :) And I honestly didn't miss the MANY other rolls I normally would have eaten at dinner and snacked on all evening.

I guess what I am saying is that I love the freedom of eating things I love--hash browns, eggs, and toast are a regular on my breakfast menu--I have just changed the way I prepare them. I still have ice cream and sweet treats, I am just very conscious of how MUCH I eat (because let's face it, how many people know that a serving of icecream is really just 1/2 cup?!)--we still have our almost weekly pizza party, and I have stopped snacking on everything in sight throughout the day. I write down what I eat--and that has made me think twice before I eat that bag of fruit snacks sitting on the counter, or nibble on stuff while making dinner, or clear off the kids plates after lunch. And sometimes I eat what I want just because I want to--like breakfast at Bob Evans....I just have scaled way back from a HUGE full breakfast to having a smaller meal that has one of each item I want. It's not only cut the portion in half, but the price--and I am JUST as full.

It's really made such a difference...

So, now that I've got that confession off my chest, I'll get to this week.

I knew early on that this week would probably not be a high number week. I struggled with this over the weekend because I WANTED it to be...i WANTED the weight to melt off like the numbers you see on the Biggest Loser. NOT realistic--not for me at least--not where I am wanting to change myself for GOOD, not just for a few weeks. I knew the day would come when I would plateau...and this week was it. Even though I ate good and watched portions and kept things in line, the scale says what it says. :) After a pep talk, I was reminded that NUMBERS AREN'T EVERYTHING!

If nothing else, I know and am proud that this week I still did my best to make good choices and feed myself and my family healthier options / portions. I feel good about how my body feels INSIDE...and for me, that's a great place to start.

Week 1 - lost 2.2 pounds

Week 2 - lost 2.2 pounds

Week 3 - lost 2 pounds

Week 4 - lost 2.8 pounds

Week 5 - lost 2.8 pounds

Week 6 - lost .4 pounds

Total lost to date: 12.4 pounds.

17.6 more pounds to go!

The first day...

Dear Jenna,

I can hardly believe that a year has passed since I dropped you off at school to start kindergarten, started crying, and then raced home to write down the words that filled my mind on the drive home. (you can read here).

And now it's on to first grade...

It's a new school for you--and I think you had more anxiety over this year than you did last year. I know I sure did.

I drove to your school last night and sat in the parking lot, looking at the big old stone building. I got teary-eyed thinking about you loading up your big backpack and walking through the long hallways. So much was on my mind, hoping that you would be happy there, and that your teacher would make up for the things I don't care for about the school in general. I hoped you would find friends--that you would let your beautiful smile and fun personality shine--and that it wouldn't be so darn hard to be the new girl...

{sigh}. I still hope that.

I've been thinking about you all day. I am SO happy for you to be back at school--because I know that aside from the beginning of school jitters, you love to learn and are anxious to get back to a school day schedule. But boys have missed you today. Kaden asked me over and over during naptime if it was time to wake up Spencer so he could play...you guys were such good friends over the summer.

And I have glanced at the clock at least a dozen times just this hour, wondering if it was time to leave yet--am anxious to get to school and find you at our special meeting place, and let you tell me all about your day.

I love you Jenna. I am proud of you. And I hope that your first day of first grade was the beginning of a really, really great thing.

Love, mom

Random tidbits from the past week...

Am barely getting pics off my camera for the first time since my last picture post.

It's been THAT busy. :)

Last week I took the kids for one final summer fling to a local pool with some friends. We had a ton of fun and I was really glad we could make time to do it--

The water in the deepest part was only 2 feet, so not a big deal--unless you are cruising down a slide and can't stop yourself at the bottom. lol. Kaden learned quickly to brace himself on the way down...

And Spencer jumped right on the slides and was FEARLESS--until he went under.

After that, he would ONLY go if someone was waiting at the bottom for him. THANKFULLY my friend was there to save the day and he went over and over and over. :)

And completely unrelated to swimming and summer fun, Carter sure loves his baby Bjorn--he just chills and watches everything around him. And I happen to think he looks super cute in it. :)

And also completely unrelated, is a picture of Spencer after being denied the chance to go to work with daddy yesterday morning...he was SO sad. After hearing no, he hurried to put on Brandon's shoes, (thinking if he put shoes on that he would be allowed to).

And then he decided he was just a funny guy all around--and put on a big show. :)

7 years - it's not at all what I thought it would be.

I keep waiting for life to slow down so I can catch up here--

It hasn't.

In fact, it's gone quite the opposite. FASTER and faster.

School starts on Tuesday. It's quite surreal that our schedules will be starting up again and Jenna will be gone all day, and we will be back and homework and such every afternoon.

This week Brandon and I celebrated our 7th anniversary. Well, I don't know if celebrated is the word--haha--it should read more like...this week marked the 7th anniversary of us getting married. :) Aside from our group date last week, we didn't have much of an opportunity to do much in the way of celebrating this week. Brandon ended up getting rear-ended on his way home from work on our actual anniversary, and the night was kind of thrown off by all sorts of stuff. (no real damage, thankfully...) The rest of the week was a blur--with back to school shopping and errands and late nights and a billion other things.

But despite the lack of any big celebration or night out on the town, I have definitely had the past 7 years on my mind this week.

If someone would have told me 7 years ago that by today we would have 4 children, be in the last year of podiatry school, and live in a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio I think I would have laughed and said there was no way! If someone could have given me a glimpse of today, I think I would be shaking my head...

Because even as I take a step back, and look at my life as one big picture, it just isn't what I thought it would be.

It's better.

It's all so much more than the plan I could write out on paper--the one that seems perfectly put together and comepletely logical.

Marriage definitely has it's ups and downs--how can it not? You are taking two completely different genders and personalities and upbringings and putting them together...and at times that can feel chaotic. But I would say that most of the time, those very things that are so different, are also the things that make being together so good.

7 years--it changes a lot about someone. It certainly has for me. I think that being married has given me opportunities to grow in a different way than ever before...because I am learning and growing with my best friend....my companion...and sweetheart. I am sure grateful for eternity--because I have a lot more changes to make and we have a lot more growing to do together. :)

Thank you Brandon, for 7 years of love--thank for you for 7 years of laughter and inside jokes and chances to overcome our differences. I love and appreciate you so much...

WEIGHING IN - week 5

I must say I was REALLY nervous this week because not only did we eat out three different times, we had family in town. Family = lots of good food! :) But I am proud to say that I still really was good about portion sizes and snacking. It is one thing I can honestly feel really good about.

As happy as I am that the weight is coming off, I am still struggling with feelings of a negative self-image. I know I have a long way to go still, not just with outside transformation, but the inside as well. I want to step out and feel confident and proud of where I am...I don't want to be ashamed every time someone mentions the success I have had so far--or feel silly--or like they are just saying it to be nice...because deep down inside I am shouting with a smile, "THANK YOU"!! I just can't seem to get THOSE feelings past all the layers of insecurity.

Step by step...I know. Lots to learn. Lots of room to grow.

Week 1 - lost 2.2 pounds

Week 2 - lost 2.2 pounds

Week 3 - lost 2 pounds

Week 4 - lost 2.8 pounds

Week 5 - lost 2.8 pounds

Total lost to date: 12 pounds.

18 more pounds to go!

Fun with family - part 3

Saturday morning Jason and Mindi got their family ready to head back to the Lone Star state and we all said our goodbyes...we loved seeing them and spending the week together. The kids were the best of friends and the worst of friends...and tattling was in fine form while they were around each other. But they also really do love each other--and I hope they continue to strengthen these bonds over the next many years!

After the goodbyes were said, we went with the remaining Holloways to Bob Evans. I've gotta say, this is ALWAYS a tradition when family comes into town...we just love it, and apparently so do our families! :) We all filled our tummies with delicious food (and got to cash in on a couple free birthday breakfasts for the kids!) We were geared up and ready to head out.

We made our way to Brandywine Falls (also where we went with my family, but we love going there!!!) As we pulled up, we were joined by SEVERAL other tour buses filled with bright colored dresses, caps, gray slacks and polo shirts...apparently we timed our trip to the falls to coincide with an extremely large group of Amish youth. I'm not talking a bus load. I am talking about BUS load after bus load of Amish people. It was interesting for a few reasons...one being that it never really occurred to me that the Amish would ride in a bus (since we saw them in horse and buggy at a McDonald's parking lot on our last trip to Amish country)...and another reason is because it just never crossed my mind that they would go on tours and such...

{I know, call me naive--just never crossed my mind I suppose!}

Either way, it was a sight to see!!

Once the area cleared out, we were able to check out the falls and rest a bit by the scenic overlook.

And here we are...

Was a fun morning! :)

We played Ticket to Ride that evening (where I am proud to say I DOMINATED the board!) and enjoyed the last little bit of our time together before Brandon's family headed up to New York for a short visit and then back home.

It's been a really busy few weeks. I have loved having so much family come--we have done some really fun things and we have made some really wonderful memories...

and these are the times I know we will never forget!

Diddle, Diddle Do, fun with family part 2

just had to rhyme there... ;)

Where were we?? Oh ya, Thursday morning. IT WAS SO HUMID that day. HUUUUUMID. We started out the morning with our traditional family egg toss. Jenna had been asking about this for WEEKS, and was so excited. But when it came down to it, she was SCARED! :) My poor little niece Jessica got whopped right on the head--broken egg running all down her. But I think she was the worst casualty from the day, and everyone had a good time! :) {however, we have wondered what our neighbors though as we threw eggs back and forth to each other. Sure we look like a pretty strange bunch!}

The guys took off at lunch time and went to an IMAX movie together. I am SO glad Brandon got to do this with his brothers and dad...he really doesn't get away very often, even though I feel he REALLY deserves to. So I was shouting hooray that this opportunity came up. :)

We had an untraditional family pizza party for dinner--I say untraditional because whenever we have these, it's Grandpa who always makes the pizza. But this time, Travis and Jenny made some and we made some, and grandpa got to take the night off. The kids watched a movie and we all filled ourselves with yummy food. IT. WAS. TASTY!

After our feast, it was time for our girl's night out--and we cleaned up and changed to go to...

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!!

Love the music, and was excited to see the musical--since I really didn't know what to expect.

They did a really great job with it--and it was fun to put the music to scenes.

(me, Jenny, Mindi, Anita, Tia)

This brings us to FRIDAY...

{deep breath}

Friday morning we all got ready and then had a barbecue for lunch, followed by naptime for all...

In the afternoon, we packed up and went to the park together. IT WAS SO HOT--really that ended up being the theme of last week PERIOD. IT WAS HOT. :) Unusually hot, and HUMID. But the kids still had fun running around and checking out the new stomping grounds...

Carter totally has the right idea...

Okay, so more than the kids had fun... :)

Packed everyone up close to dinner time and we headed home.

Grandma and Grandpa (and Tyler and Tia) were SO generous to watch all the kids for us--Since all the married brothers have anniversaries within a few weeks of each other, it made for a good chance to have a big group date. We decided on Macaroni Grill--since none of us had been before. We swapped marriage stories with each other and ate some delicious food. And best of all, we came home to kids in bed and were able to spend the rest of the evening playing games and eating dessert.

GREAT night!

Family fun...part 1

With cousins in town, we headed off to the kiddie park to help pass the hot morning hours. (and I do mean HOT!) Everyone had a great time--until it was time to go. Why does the end have to be SO DANG HARD!? ;)

We took everyone home for naps and then in the evening my sisters-in-law and headed out for a little girls night. I am ashamed to say we got NO pictures of this! But it was a good time...Applebees for dinner, good conversation, skipping out on bedtime routine--it was nice! :) We even got a $10 gift card as we were leaving for doing a survey. Am drooling just thinking about when I get to go back with my gift card! :)

Tuesday night, after a LOAD of laughs playing musical catch phrase, Brandon's parents and 2 of his siblings got into town as well. We visited for a bit and hit the sack!

Wednesday morning we all attempted a 4 car caravan...and failed. :) Finally were able to all meet up at the John Johnson farm. We were the only ones there at the time, which was NICE considering that we had numerous wiggly kiddos with us. The tour guide did a great job getting us through in a timely manner, and still giving us some great info. This place has SUCH a fascinating history, and was a really special experience.

And we couldn't leave without an attemped shot of the whole crew!

Let's get all caught up now...starting with a big birthday!

It's been a whirlwind week, and I am completely behind on posting. I realized yesterday that I hadn't even uploaded our pictures ALL week--and if you know me, you know that's a REALLY long time to go in between photo downloads! :) So here I am attempting to get caught up on the fun, BUSY week we had with Brandon's family!

We started it out with Brandon's brother Jason and his wife Mindi, and their kids coming into town on Saturday evening. They made the long trek from Texas--

On Sunday we celebrated Spencer turning the big 3! I was still pretty sore and recovering from the surgery, so I have to admit I was very much a spectator to the whole thing. I couldn't even get up and do all the fun pictures I had wanted to...just had to shoot from one spot. Our little living room was a tad bit chaotic! lol

Jenny was kind enough to pick up some cupcakes for his birthday--which everyone loved. :)

The best part of the party was doing heavy-heavy-hangs-over...which writing it out sounds really silly. But it is done by someone holding your present over your head while saying "heavy, heavy hangs over your poor head. Whatcha gonna do with it before you're dead? eat it. wear it. or play with it. And the receiver is supposed to guess.

Spencer loved it so much he was trying to do it to himself! He got some fun little gifts--cars and safari animals, and some dinosaurs and a book. Lucky little man!

It's hard to imagine how 3 years have passed. I still remember him being born...we had just moved to Ohio and Brandon started podiatry school soon after we came home from the hospital. I remember wondering how on earth we would manage with THREE kids?!?! How on earth I would make it through the sleepless nights and the massive messes and the strain of going here and there with three little ones in tow, often on my own.

And yet, I look back and it's all a blur. Somehow, 3 years has passed, and we made it through all the very things I was so afraid of, and I absolutely cannot imagine if Spencer hadn't been in our family at that very time.

Spencer, we love you so much. You have brought such an incredible amount of laughter and love and JOY to us since the day you were born...Happy birthday to you!