Surviving the first week--

The kids survived the first week back to school, and I adjusted to making myself get up to an alarm again. Oh the woes!

We decided to celebrate our end of the first week back by grabbing some pizza and a big, juicy watermelon and heading to the splash pad with some friends.

(I LOVE Carter's tan line here--I always want to snap a pic of his cute white bum compared to his bronzed body, but it's never felt appropriate...but a smidgen of a line? I'm there! lol)
 

And due to Kaden's love of swim shirts, he is sporting an awesome farmer's tan. :)


Our little friend Clara.


And our friends the Hamakers




Jenna had a little visitor--a butterfly--come land right on her. She was so excited!




Spencer throwing water on our little friend Evaline.


Taking a break for a bite to eat. :)




It was a wonderful way to spend a warm day and finish off the school week!

Back to school--the new routine

Back to school came--and poor Carter was SO lonely without his summer sidekicks. SO bored. And he wanted nothing to do with me. No books, no coloring, nothing. Just wanted to be sad and alone and sneak away to play the Kindle in my room.

I found him multiple times--silent and watching a show in my bedroom.

I got him out and tried to distract him with other things...but not even 20 minutes later...
There he was again...


He had a really hard time understanding why the kids were gone all day. We hosted a back to school brunch in the morning and had friends to distract us, but It felt like the longest day ever. When it was time to get the kids from the bus stop, he insisted on wearing a backpack. I remembered from last year that the bus was quite late on the first day, so I delayed my pickup time by probably 20 minutes. Then we went and waited...and waited. And waited some more.



OOOH, and then he spotted something...




AAAAAND it was the wrong bus.


After waiting some more, he spotted something else...


YAY! The kids made it home. Almost 40 minutes late, but they made it. He was one very happy boy!



We did our annual back to school dinner out at Chili's and had a yummy meal!



I always forget how hard it is to get into a new routine--it feels so good and so refreshing, but there are definitely some learning curves--especially when you're 3. :)

Back to school 2013

Dear kids,

It is undeniable that I have had a hard summer. Mentally, emotionally, physically. I have just not been the mom I want to be the past few months. I was in survival mode. And I hate survival mode and who that makes me be. The me I really know wants to soak in your presence and listen to your every word, and snuggle you all day long. 

I want you to know I am sorry--for being grumpy, and exhausted, impatient, and not giving you my best lately. I have expected a lot of each of you--and sometimes I forget that not everyone thinks like my brain thinks. I need you to know that you are each so important to me--you fill the world with so much meaning. I am truly amazed by each of you and I am grateful for the chance to be your mom and be in your life. I feel your greatness...I see your potential...and I love you immensely.

I already feel re-committed and  ready to be better and do more. I feel hopeful, and see good things on the horizon. I love hearing you come home from school and report on what happened that day. I love watching you learn and develop and grasp new concepts, and then build on that at home together. I love being on the same team...

This morning was your first day back. We had a great morning...Jenna was awake before I was, making signs for everyone from an idea she saw on Pinterest. I had to tickle Spencer's legs and sing the Itsy Bitsy Spider song several times before he got up, and Kaden hopped right up when I flipped on the light. You all got ready quickly, Kaden wore lace-up shoes for the first time and is well on his way to learning how to tie them. We gathered to do quick pictures before the bus came. At one point, Kaden thought your bus was passing and ran down the street crying. We realized soon after it wasn't the right one though. :) 

You were each brave today. No tears. No sadness. Just excitement. We hugged and you hopped on the big yellow bus. In previous years you would have found me camped out in front of your school the night before, sobbing about how you're growing up. But this year, I stood extra long at the curb when your bus passed by on the way out of our neighborhood. I waved and waved and smiled--I will admit there were a few tears and my heart swelled extra big today. But I stand in awe of who each of you are becoming. I am proud of you--I love you--and I am genuinely excited for you and school this year. 

I hope your day was the start of many amazing things...

Lovem

To eternity and Beyond...

I'm feeling a bit nostalgic--every member of my family just had a birthday and we finish out our celebrating by commemorating 10 years of being married.

TEN. YEARS. 

WHaaaaa??

Perhaps this seems unthinkable because if I am quite honest, I don't remember even what I wore last Wednesday or what we ate for dinner 3 days ago. But I can remember 10 years ago so clearly.

I was so nervous and excited for the morning of August 16th to come. I woke super early, no alarm needed--I couldn't sleep another wink. The sunrise was amazing that day. I drove to the 24 hour Walmart and bought a few last minute things--including a small vile of the perfume Sunflowers. I went home and took a shower, and remember so vividly as I shaved my legs, that this was my last shower as a single woman.

I got ready for the day, everything crisp and new. My sister did my hair and I did my own makeup. And we made our way to the temple. 

I went in and changed into the long sleeve white dress that my mom had made and got ready for our ceremony. In my mind, so distinctly, I can see and remember and feel walking out and seeing him sitting on the couch outside the sealing room. My heart skipped a beat--that very moment was pure happiness, and there was no doubt that I was the luckiest girl alive.

That day I married my sweetheart...who became my husband, my love, my everything.

We were dirt poor and didn't even own a car...Brandon's car had died right before we got engaged, and my car died right before we got married. I worked at a call center and Brandon's summer job ended right before our wedding. We didn't even have money for a honeymoon, or gas to get to our own open house, 8 hours away. The odds felt so against us. But being in the temple that day, made all those logistics melt away. It was real. It was right. And all the rest needed to be turned over to God.

We had a plan in mind. Our naive newly married selves even talked about adding another wedding band on our 5th anniversary. We figured we would wait a bit and have a couple kids and have a good job and be established within the next few years. Life was so full of hope and promise and felt like nothing could go wrong, even though so much already had!

Fast forward...10 years.

That extra wedding band never happened...we were in the thick of school and bills and had a baby before our first anniversary even hit. We've surpassed the couple kids mark now, in a completely different professional field than Brandon ever started out wanting to do. And we are far from "established". But we have somehow made our way through 8 grueling years of school, 2 years of residency, my Bachelor's degree, his Doctorate degree, and 4 children. We have lived in 6 different places, owned 9 different cars, made numerous cross country visits home, experienced countless amounts of heartbreak and received an equal amount of blessings.There have been arguments that made me want to run away and not face fixing it. There have been trials and tears and sadness that in the moment feels like it won't ever go away. Even now, any hope for a 10 year anniversary celebration are now blowing back at us in the form of a new air conditioner in the car. :) In many ways, life has been far from what we expected. But the truth is, discouraging moments or not, life has been far better than we could have ever planned.

Forever I get to snuggle with him each night, hold his hand when life gets really scary, and have him as my sounding board and support. I get to laugh with him at funny jokes, tease him about countless popsicle sticks left in strange places throughout the house, and make a million memories with a man better than I could have ever imagined for me. As I watch him fulfill his many roles in life, it becomes so clear to me that the choice I made that August day, 10 whole years ago, is a choice I would make all over again and again. 

So Brandon...I want you to know I choose you. Every day of my life I choose you. Through the good times and hard times, and through every chapter of our seemingly not so perfect, fairytale...

I love you forever and always, to eternity and beyond. :)

Enduring...not really enjoying...

I just finished a very unplanned late evening carpet cleaning in my boys room.

How a 6 year old can get poop not only OUTSIDE the bathroom but all over his carpet and bed is beyond me.

I looked around at my house--stuff is strewn everywhere. Nobody has done their kitchen jobs for a few days now. Everything needs a good, deep clean. But we are busy running here and there with meetings and invites and plans. It is an incredibly busy week. Month. SUMMER.

I have been working in chunks of time-- telling myself to just get through till _______ and then things will be different.

And I push through. I get to ____________ and it's just like heaving myself over a boulder and landing on the other side, covered in dirt and completely exhausted, knowing there is just another big obstacle in front of me.

It has been a weird summer. We've had fun...lots of sun and swimming.
But we have also had heartache.
Schedule changes.
Disappointment.
Short nights,and  long days.
Running. So much running. And some days I can't even identify where we've been or what we've done. I just know we have been busy.

This summer I have realized the goodness of others--so many kind people exist. I have also discovered that others can be verbally abusive and outright mean, and made me the target--which has left me feeling emotionally drained and heartbroken.

I am in the countdown...13 days till school starts. I mentioned it to my kids today and they were equally excited. I have some guilt, knowing that some moms out there are having a similar countdown that is filled with tears and sadness that their kids will be gone all day long! But, even though there will be a tear or two shed from me on the first day of school, I am looking forward to a little bit of recovery time. I am looking forward to some quiet time, and a clean house (at least during the day! ;) I can't wait to tackle my lawn and abandoned flower garden, and spruce things up. And I am looking forward to spending more time in my scriptures, more time writing a journal and documenting this chaos we call life.

I just need a chance to catch my breath after the complete whirlwind of summer. I need to pick myself up off the ground and dust off the pieces of life that have been pushed to the side.

I am just ready--for a few deep breaths some soul healing--so I can stop just enduring and start enjoying.

Papa and Lita part 2

I'm beginning to see a pattern in all my posts...we don't get visitors often, but when we do there are 2 standby activities that seem to always happen. 1. the waterpark and 2. Our favorite ice cream shop. Clearly the pickings are slim in Temple, Tx.

Sooo...we had a beautiful day to visit the water park with Papa and Lita. This is the one place Carter is ALWAYS happy. :)

)

(and fearless!)









The big bucket splashed over Grandpa and Carter--it was funny to watch! ;)


(A happy Lita in the lazy river)





And the morning they left we went to our ice cream place for some more Blue Bell and yumminess. :) Literally, we went before lunch so we could squeeze this in. If ice cream for breakfast was ever allowed, it would be a day like this. :)






We loved having them here, even for a few short days! Our time with them is precious and we love to take advantage of any opportunity to smother our kids with grandparent time.

Papa and Lita come!

August 8th came, our Spencer turned 6, and Grandpa and Lita flew in for a little visit  and met us at the zoo with Mindi and her kid

.







As I was looking through pictures (here, 7 months after the fact) I realized how many pictures I have of Carter where he isn't smiling. I would probably have tossed these ones if I posted right away, but now they just make me laugh. BOY can this little guy SCOWL! ;)









Little Miss Cora-- :)



(another Carter scowl)


Sitting with Grandpa--it was hot, hot, HOT that day!














Thank goodness for the zoo splash pad! Whew! Welcome relief in the hot sun!





We parted ways with cousins and went home to open presents and celebrate Spencer! Carter may have a scowl, but when presents are involved, he's all hands on deck and has a smile ear to ear!


Doing the traditional Heavy, heavy hangs game...


Spencer got Scrabble Jr. and it was pulled out to play right away.





Although Spencer was more interested in his new Playmobil set.


We went to Olive Garden for dinner (Spencer's favorite place) and enjoyed dinner--



We had the best server. I mentioned to her that this was Spencer's favorite place because of the mints--can't blame him. :) So she made up a whole birthday sundae for him and lined it with the Andes mints, and sent him home with a big cup FILLED with them. It was such a pleasant surprise and he was SO excited!



It was a fun, exhausting way to spend a birthday. :) But we wouldn't have it any other way!