Week 52 - Christmas, oh Christmas

A few days before Christmas we woke to the most STUNNING sunrise. I actually thought there was a fire the way it glowed through the window--but upon further inspection, it was just God splashing the most beautiful, bright pinks and oranges across the Amarillo sky.
 

Christmas Eve was strange. It was one of the first we have ever had just us. I wanted to have people over, but at the same time I was just feeling ready for family time. Just us. And so we did. 

We ate earlier than usual, and spent the evening doing our traditional acting out of the Nativity, stories, sibling gifts, and at the end we had new PJ's for everyone. 



Kaden turned to his creative side and spelled out Merry Christmas with Duplo blocks. I wish you could see better in the picture--it was pretty impressive!


Annual Christmas tree picture--I really am going to miss the beautiful lights of the tree when it's time for them to come down!


Christmas morning...

A few years ago we had a talk with Santa and decided that he would only bring stockings. No big gifts, no wishlists, nothing like that. It has really been the best thing ever! As I watched my kids hug their socks from their stockings and be excited about the little things, I realized that for us, this works.




Spencer got a magic set and has been in heaven since! He is always trying to perfect his latest trick! :)


Grandma got the boys Pokemon binders to organize their cards. Since I have now washed numerous sets of them, this is a really, really good thing. :)


Jenna was so sweet and bought me a necklace and earrings set that said mom, and had a card that said, "not just my mom--my best friend" I love my sweet girl. She is so thoughtful!


This has to be one of my favorite pictures of Carter ever! Seriously, from a guy who can do a grumpy face like the best of them, I LOVE his genuine happiness here!




Brandon got some new bike pedals and bike shoes--he is excited to try them out once this snow melts and we get some nice weather again!



And he was surprised to see I got him in on the Nerf gun action that happened in our house. :)



Jenna also got a nerf gun--hers was the mother of all guns and much larger than it looked online! lol She LOVES it!






We actually opened all our presents without Josie--way more enjoyable that way. This girls needs her beauty rest for sure. ;) But it was really fun to focus just on her when she woke up.



After having 5 kids, I finally got this Christmas thing right. I bought her one present and a box of clothes, and Grandma/Grandpa bought her a stroller. That was it. And she was completely content. She would not have done well having anything more. Simple is best...



While we were house hunting, Josie would loved every house that had a little Cozy coupe. She would run to them--it was like she had a little radar. :) So when I found a deal on this one for $25 new, I snatched it up! In earlier kids, I would have made sure it was gender neutral. Knowing she is the caboose, I went pink! :)


Her sweet babysitter gave her the cutest little doll that blows kisses--and of course she had to haul her around in her car and stroller.




Our magician at work! :)





Kaden got a remote control car and took it out in the back lot to explore.


We all joined in--playing as long as we could handle the chilly weather.






Little Miss Jenna is getting all grown up. She loved her pink jean jacket and new scarf and jeans...the boots she bought with her own money. Texas will turn her in to a cowgirl, I am certain of it. :)





I bought all the kids--even the adult one--Nerf guns this year. When we were looking at the house we are buying, Brandon mentioned it would be the perfect house for a Nerf war. Now, I like calm--I hate wrestling and playing around (someone always gets hurt!) And Nerf guns aren't my favorite thing--but I knew THEY would love them, and Brandon was right--our new house would be PERFECT for such a thing. So I surprised them all--I LOOOVED this surprise, because it was not something I would typically do, and I didn't even tell Brandon anything about it. It was so fun to see their reactions!



After Christmas came, we were hit with a yucky blizzard. We didn't get all the snow we thought we would have, but it blew EVERYWHERE and caused so many people to get stuck! We were pretty much shut inside for a few days, through cancelled church, etc. and Brandon's office had to close Monday morning because it was still so bad.


During that time, we were able to play lots of Monopoly Deal (waaaaaay better than the traditional version) and just enjoy our time together. It was really, really nice.


Christmas brought about much reflection for me--I truly am grateful for the Savior. For His birth and His perfect life. I am grateful for His example and to have the knowledge of the gospel. I genuinely feel so much gratitude and love for Mary and Joseph, who faced what must have been incredible uncertainty and fear to some extent. Their courage and dedication to follow God's plan inspires me to do the same...

Merry Christmas...

Week 51 - The most wonderful...er...busiest...time of the year.

The week before Christmas break was a chaotic madhouse. I am still not sure exactly why--I took few pictures, but there was literally something all. week.

We had Jenna's first band concert--you know, during the day like most band concerts are. {HUH?!} It happened to be only 30 minutes different time than Spencer's class musical--which was several miles away at a different school. Thankfully Brandon was able to attend Jenna's concert, and I took off after the first 20 minutes of it to catch Spencer's play.

They both did a great job!


The next morning Jenna took part in her school talent show. They only chose 12 acts from her whole grade and she was really excited to get to perform her piano piece. She was first--and thankfully the gentleman in front of me didn't pull out his giant Ipad to record everything till after she was done. Common sense fail...for reaaaaal.



Josie looks forward every day to the kids coming from school. She runs out and as soon as she sees them come around the corner, she takes off down the street. This little girl LOOOOVES her siblings!


Speaking of siblings, I am grateful for Kaden...he is so kind to help Spencer with his tie. It's one thing I just don't know how to do. And because Brandon is visiting other wards so often now, he doesn't make it to church with us as much. So Kaden saves the day! :)



Josie. Oh this girl! She has decided she no longer wants anything to do with the booster at the table, and has found herself a perfectly good personal table at the step stool. I found her this morning in the pantry, with her yogurt, at her little "table". She's full of funny surprises! :)



We also had our ward party, class parties, Scout pack meeting, among other things. As much as I love Christmas, it is crazy busy every year. I suppose the upside of that is that it makes me really appreciate the few weeks of downtime afterward. :)

Happy Sunday.

Week 50 - Practice makes perfect

As like most of the online world I know, we had piano recitals this weekend. The kids each did 2 pieces-- one Christmas and one other. The Christmas song was played a 2nd time as a duet with their sweet teacher, Jessica.

The kids have been practicing lot--they had to learn their stuff AND memorize it, which caused Kaden to go into a slight panic. But he did it! Both he and Jenna did great. I loved hearing the other kids who were more experienced. You could see the kids' faces light up as they looked forward with hope at where they could be someday.

-

They have worked hard! I can't say they always WANT to practice or that they didn't make any mistakes. But they did their best and that's really all you can ask. ;) I love seeing them blossom and grow their talent, and I hope it carries on a long time!

Week 49 - Ch-ch-ch-change

Oh how things change, often so quickly!

After posting about building our home, and sending plans back to the architect, I stopped by an open house at a home that we never really considered but was SO cool and I just was really curious about it from the pictures online.

But after walking through out of sheer curiosity, I could see such potential! I scheduled with our realtor to bring Brandon back the next morning. We both loved it! We had said from the beginning that we would be willing to lose the money we paid for plans only if the perfect house came up--and this house was everything we wanted and MORE! I joke that this house was built for us, 20 years too soon and with way more money than we could ever put into it. We threw out a number substantially less than they were asking in a verbal offer via our realtor and started praying that if this was right, they would accept it. They came back higher than we had offered, and we said again that it was our max and that we would know this was right only if they accepted the low offer we put in.

They came back with a verbal yes--and told us to put our offer in writing. Suddenly I panicked. This is a BIG change...we would be moving mid-year. New schools, new district. We would be switching wards (congregations)...which was very, very sad to us. I also worried about what people would think. It's a big house. There is no denying. But we aren't in this to buy a showy house--we certainly never were looking for this. It just came up. We don't want people to think we are rich. Blessed after a lot of years of hard work, we are. Wealthy, we are not. It would only be purchased because we could get it for a really, really, really good price.

Over the week I went back several times to look, and get estimates for some work we would potentially have done if we bought it, etc. I was trying to get every piece of information, from utility bill costs to upkeep and maintenance prices for things, etc. I really wanted to be fully informed before we signed the dotted line and officially submitted the offer because this was SO far from what we expected to be doing...

After a 4th quote on some work, I stood outside the house and looked at the beautiful trees in the front yard and had the very distinct though, "does it really matter what it costs? This is the only place I can picture as home".

We went home and signed the dotted line and put an offer in...completely switching life gears in one swift signing.

I sit here today, unsure of the future. I don't know how this will all work out. We still don't have a firm written yes--verbal, yes. But I will believe it when the listing says pending...

It is really a dream home. It has the 5 bedrooms and an office I wanted. It has a big backyard. It has the eat in kitchen area that fits our family. And it even has the separate laundry room you don't have to walk through to go outside. And then it gets almost strange how many little details we wanted that it has...As a kid I always said I wanted a drinking fountain in my house. I have joked about having one through the years, and low and behold...this house has A DRINKING FOUNTAIN! I was also pretty adamant about our architect building in lockers so each kid would have one--so it was pretty much amazing that this house we loved already has...drumroll....lockers! Enough for every member of our family. And then there is the fireplace in the master bedroom. Always wanted one--but never enough to pay for it. It has the big pantry I wanted, the gas stove, the extra living space on the main floor that we couldn't have if we built a home because the lot wasn't big enough...it has an amazing shop in the garage where Brandon can work on his bike and we can set up a workshop. It has the 3 car garage we wanted. It literally has everything! And THEN...it also has an indoor pool. What the?! YES! And it's amazing...and so far above what we ever, ever, ever thought we would find.

So I am waiting...on pins and needles...to see if this will all pan out. To see if this is what the Lord has in store for our family. To see if this is the answer to our prayers.

If so, it will bring about much change...and sometimes change is hard! But we are moving forward and praying the Lord's hand will guide us through these uncharted territories of life so we can make the choice that will be best--that we can use whatever home we have to serve Him and serve others. That truly is our desire...

Week 47 - Building a house...building a family.

After tossing and turning in bed for 2 hours, I finally decided that if I was going to be awake, I better use my time wisely....and attempting to catch up on my sad documenting has haunted me. So here I am.

I am not even particularly sure what to post. Life is kind of at a standstill right now, and yet whirring by like a speeding train. We had an architect draw up plans so we could move forward with building. We have kept our eyes peeled in case a house comes on the market that we love, but so far there has been nothing. We waited 2 whole weeks for the first set of plans. 2 WEEKS! It was like watching water boil...like watching an ice cube melt. It was hard! lol I was SO excited when they first arrived...I just poured over them, starting to catch the vision of our new place.

....and then after looking at them over and over, the excitement wore off and I realized I really wanted something different. We had taken 2 floor plans and pointed out things we liked about both (the architect had designed both homes), and took in a list of things we wanted. By list, I mean 1 page front and back filled with details. But as I looked at the plans, I realized that most of the things on our list weren't there and she had just put her 2 floor plans together and added an extra room and a laundry chute. It is a great layout--don't get me wrong. But after Brandon and I talked, we felt that if we were building a custom home--paying for a custom home--we really want something different than everything out there! I emailed back last night---explained where we were coming from. And now the wait begins again--first, the wait for her to see this email come Monday morning (which I am dreading--she's going to think we are NUTSO!) And then waiting again for the new plans to get put together.

When we started this, I was thinking we would get the ball rolling and start clearing the land and laying the foundation by mid December. Why? I have no clue...it clearly is going to take more time than we thought. We won't be ready for that till well into the new year now, I am sure.

This whole ordeal (ordeal? Situation? Whatever it is...) has me thinking that I am in for a double dose of learning patience...patience with others, patience with myself. Patience with this process.

I was pondering this morning how I can see the comparison to building our family to be good, strong, righteous and raising each child to reach their fullest potential. The older the kids get, the more unique their personalities become. There are days I struggle with how to meet their individual needs, and how to communicate with each one in the way that THEY will respond best. I don't think this is a "mom of 5" problem. I would wager to say this applies whether you have 2 kids or 12. For my perfectionist self, letting go of having things "just so" and embracing individuality is incredibly difficult.  It's not an overnight thing. I can't just blink and have it done. And just like we take our communication the our realtor who takes it to the builder, I find myself just needing so frequently to take this struggle to the Lord. I am just one person. I can throw out my ideas, but the master builder sees the big picture and knows how it will all come together.

And after searching and waiting, I get a plan from the life builder. :) Inspiration. Ideas. And I get to work seeing how it fits. Often, I find that it needs tweaking and change. Sometimes I find I need to start over all together. And it has me going back and desiring once again to have a unique solution for a unique personality. Take this process times 5...the struggle is real! :) And I have yet to find on Pinterest a perfect one size fits all approach for how to raise children.

I hope and pray my kids know that I love them. I often wonder if I am enough. If I am doing enough, saying it enough, showing it enough. I certainly have room to improve...heaven knows that the messes made, the chores half done, the clothes left bunched up on the closet floor, the wrestling and results of said wrestling, and overall childhood drama can set me reeling, despite the absolute best intentions to be calm and peaceful and loving all. the. time. I guess I just hope those moments of frustration don't outweigh the moments of love. This week. That's my goal. More moments of love, less moments of mad.

Just like our house is being approached as a place we will live forever, I see this with my family, who I want to be with forever. We are trying to foresee experiences, life changes, etc and build our house to be able to withstand all those changes and be a great fit for us for many, many years. But in the end, it is just a house. A thing. A temporal place to live while here on earth. But my family, oh my sweet family, it is much the same. Trying to get it right now--to teach them, love them, form bonds with each other and help them grow so that we can endure all the change that comes over time and see each other through to eternity and beyond.

Happy Sunday.

week 46 - Our little master of disaster

I am pretty sure the last 37 pictures on my phone are of Josie. It's not that I love her more--but she is in "that stage"...you know, where things are so cute, and she's learning and exploring, and she makes crazy messes...you know..

Josie had her 18 month checkup. She was 19 pounds--my little bean is growing up!





A few days after her flu shot and other age appropriate shots, she went into a tailspin of grumpiness. Irritable, wouldn't sleep, cried constantly. It was miserable. Jenna wrote a poem about the situation...



 I finally took her to the doctor, wondering if there was a reaction to the shots. Low and behold, she had a bad ear infection. We got some juice, some meds, and a good night of sleep and she seemed to be doing better.

Now her grumpiness is just attributed to her preparations for the terrible terrific twos and an 18 month old sleep regression. But really for the most part, as long as she has snacks, a bottle, or a phone to play with, she's happy as a clam! ;)

Took my girl to Sams this week where she fell in LOOOOVE with the giant stuffed bear. If you own this, I'm sorry. And...WHY!? lol It was sure fun to see in the store though...


My Josie girl also loves to play in the alley behind our house. Because all our homes are rear entry garages, she thinks it's her little play ground. When we get her out of the car, she will often run over to the plasma car and hop on, pushing herself to the edge of the garage where gravity takes over and she races to the bottom of the driveway where she can hop off and make her getaway down the road on foot. She isn't always a runner--but she IS independent and loves to be outside. I think those 2 things cause her to just do whatever it takes to get there!



She also loves to take baths. This is good because...well, we didn't nickname her the master of disaster for no reason...

EXHIBIT A...



(this LITERALLY took only the time it took me to put the milk in the fridge)

EXHIBIT B:



Yogurt. Easy enough, right? All over the table, under the table, in her hair, eyelashes, skin creases under her chin.

EXHIBIT C:



same day as the yogurt...different meal. I'd say it takes talent to get macaroni and cheese to stick to ones eyebrow!

Also added to her many talents--stealing everyone's toothbrushes, unrolling toilet paper, open the toilet lid and "swishing" whatever she is holding in it (iiiiick), throwing her food on the floor when she decides she is finished, emptying her drawers several times a day...emptying MY drawers several times a day, finding writing utensils of every kind and only ever drawing on the important things like: bank paperwork, homework, library books. She is FAST!

We love this little peanut of ours. We may joke about all the destruction she can cause, but she definitely holds a special place in our family! The kids often will hang back and delay leaving for school so they can see her before they are gone. She is the one everyone wants to see before bed. Her laughter is contagious, her smile melts hearts, and she is the most hugged person in the house!

We love our little Josie--the master of disaster and the sweet girl that makes our family complete.

Week 44 - No tricks...just treats

This week was a total blur!

My cousin, Justin, flew in for work, so we grabbed some lunch and chatted a while. It was fun to see family--




The rest of the week was a madhouse trying to get soccer practice and piano, costumes made, meetings attended, etc.My brain was mush. In fact, we were half way to piano when Spencer notified me that Kaden was not in the car...so we had to turn around. How this didn't come up earlier is beyond me...

Anyway, this was the year of the "let's get creative because we aren't buying anything new"...
Carter wanted to be a robo hotdog--which I still remain confused about. After asking and asking and getting no real direction, he took it into his own hands and colored a box--partially spray painted it--and found himself a happy camper.



I did break down a buy a costume--it was a crazy good sale and I bought it Thursday with the promise of free one day shipping and free returns if it didn't work out. I have wanted to go as Snow White for a long time now--so it was serendipitous that it worked out like this...I had some little girl fans who came and hugged me, and it totally made my day. :)





In other costume news...Jenna was an old lady. Kaden was a lego. Josie was a strawberry. And Spencer was Abraham Lincoln. He was pretty proud of his costume...


We got way too much candy, had way too much fun, and wrapped up this Halloween week by heading to bed early in preparation for the time change. :)

It's looking like we will be building a house now, which is scary but exciting. We meet with the architect on Wednesday...eeeeek! So that ball gets rolling this week...unless we just so happen to have a ready built house pop up on the market in the next 3 days. And judging by the places we have seen until now, it's just not looking like that's going to happen. I've never been in such a strange market as Amarillo! There seriously aren't enough houses for sale--it's insane!


Ready for a new week...month...for some change.
Happy Sunday.

Week 43 - The Monsters in my life...

My life is filled with monsters. Perhaps it is the time of year--when the weather shifts and the moon is full. Perhaps they are always around, but sometimes they are easier to ignore than others...

But right now, I feel surrounded...

The monster named GUILT has me hanging my head in shame over every little thing...

-that I am not totally jumping up and down about coming up with Halloween costumes...

-that we are 4 days away from said holiday and I have yet to have things put together.

-that I didn't cook the missionary luncheon from scratch. In fact, I bought every last bit of it. 

-that I am always going for something...or someone...and yet feeling like I get nothing accomplished. 

-that I am blogging right now instead of cleaning up something...ANYTHING in my house.

-that my body is what it is right now.

-that I am not enough...

-that I have numerous blog posts missing from my weekly collection, and unposted pictures.

-that I just want a couple of days to get a grip on my life...without any responsibilities. 

And the monster named CHAOS has been right in my face so it's hard to see anything different...Instead I see:

-stuff. I like to think of myself as a pretty minimalist person. I don't do clutter well. But lately I walk around and it's one big circus that someone forgot to pick up from! 

-coming and going at full speed. We are very picky about the extra things we participate in. But my goodness, the past few months have been insanity. Meetings, church activities, house hunting, soccer, games, piano, more meetings...it's like, our time as a family is SO scarce. Date night? Almost non-existent. 

-why can't I just get a grip on our routine and schedule? It's like I am always a step behind and just when I think I've got it, there is an upheaval of some sort and things change, which leaves me trying to play catch up. Am I the only one?! 

The monster named SELF-DOUBT really likes to get under my skin. He constantly has me questioning if I am good enough...if I do enough...if I made the right call or did the right thing. He likes to really bare his ugly face when it comes to work...and church....and especially mothering. He always tries to cover my eyes so that I can only see the people who don't like what I have done...or decisions I have made. Oh, how I hate the monster named Self-Doubt...a lot.

The monster named STRESS has been a big one too...he combines forces with guilt and chaos and leaves me feeling so emotionally vulnerable and beaten down. He likes to laugh when he sees I am completely out of energy and feeling defeated.

These monsters like to dance around my life, sprinkling hormones and sleeplessness...

They taunt me and make me feel like I just simply can never escape them. Sometimes they are quiet...taking a break or napping for a while. I know they are there, but I can focus more on the angels named LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, GRACE, PEACE, COURAGE, and STRENGTH.

I'm doing my best--for right now in this very moment. I just wish I could shout that out to everyone passing by, raising their eyebrows at my failure. But oh, right now....those dang monsters are wide awake and using every ounce of energy to crush everything good in my life...

Week 41- tidbits

This week flew by--as are most weeks these days!

We are in full swing with house hunting--it's so stressful and agonizing because we can't find what we are looking for. I should stop saying we since Brandon has been totally fine with lots of houses we have seen (Sometimes I have reflected back and had to ask if we were in the same house!} So I will say that I haven't found what feels right or is what I want yet.
I'm starting to feel like we have seen it all--so we are to the point of deciding if we build or hold out for the right place, and praying that if there is something we are supposed to see it will pop up before our November 1 deadline. It's times like this I wish I could go back to kindergarten and have snack time and naps and not a care in the world! :)

This was one of the kitchen/dining rooms we looked at--it was AMAZING. I wish the picture hadn't cut off--it was seriously awesome. But there was literally no yard and the neighborhood is way more fancy than we want to live in..among other things. So the hunt continues.























Carter had his Kindergarten nursery rhyme parade this week. He changed his mind about 13 times on which nursery rhyme he wanted to be--and it wasn't till the night before that he officially settled on The cow jumped over the moon-so we were putting it together on the fly. (Thank you Chick-fil-a for your cow headbands from cow appreciation day.) He actually had a moon we cut out and a dish with a spoon, but he kept them carefully tucked behind his back. Oh well! :)
He was SO proud and we loved seeing him!!





Saturday we had a lot of things going on, and Josie woke up with puke all over her. Poor girl. Jenna dressed up in doctor attire and printed and laminated patient care sheets to us, and stayed with Josie while we were running like crazy to get soccer games and work stuff and Relief Society things done. She is such a great helper and I love her creative approach to life! ;)






Went to our super Saturday at church (a big craft day). Let me tell you--we have the most talented cookie decorator in our ward! She seriously is amazing--we got to make cute cookies and crafts, and had yummy soup. It was a fun day!



We are gearing up for a visit from family this week--(Jenny and Travis and their cute girls are coming) and plugging along through the month--I can hardly believe we are almost halfway through the month and heading in to November! How?!

Happy Sunday...